Whore-Moans (By: Jessica)

Whore-Moans.

Hormones.

However you spell it, they can really throw you for a loop.

For anyone who has NEVER experienced their hormones getting thrown completely outta whack, making you totally loose your s**t, then I bow down to you.......and I secretly am giving you the evil eye and hoping you step in a mud puddle while wearing white sandals.

For anyone who HAS experienced their hormones getting thrown completely outta whack, making you totally loose your s***, then you are "my people".

Hormone imbalance (depression, anxiety, mood swings, bipolar disorder, PMS....whatever) is something I struggle with.....pregnant or not. (but totally worse when I'm pregnant) It sucks. I hate it. It's like an annoying wart that keeps coming back after it's been frozen off.

It's amazing how these little bit**es can totally control a person's life.  My life.

Seriously..... they can make me feel totally amazing, like I have everything in control, I'm overflowing with happiness, everyone loves me and I love everyone, birds are chirping, the sun is shining, I'm pooping rainbows, and my world is "just perfect and as it should be. ("hormone high" as I like to call it and totally unrealistic) I'm not fond of this feeling cause it's a total pump fake.

Or, they can make me feel  like I am a total screw up, everyone is against me or hates me, and  all my life consists of is an overstuffed arm chair, snickers ice cream, and Micky Mouse Clubhouse. Hopeless, helpless, gloom, and doom. Fun, huh?

My favorite feeling is the one where I feel normal. Like myself. That's the best one, and most common one for the most part. But sometimes, when I least expect it, BAM, sucker punched, stabbed in the back, blind sided, clothes-lined, they attack and let me down. Every time.

I didn't always live like this. This glorious chemical reaction within my body happened when Leo Beck Rolfes entered my life. Bless his heart.

I like to think I have this all under control. I mean, I "man-ed up" and told my Dr that I was going totally ape-s***, and he smiled at me, hugged me, and gave me some magic beans. They really do help keep things in control, thank Goodness. But, they also fail me at times and need to be given a pep talk.  Nobody's perfect.

God bless my husband. That's all I have to say about that.

My 'mones have been really working overtime these last 9 months. I am 100% certain it is because I am having a girl/ Her hormones and mine together....... what a brewing pot of bubbling estrogen!!!

I knew from very early on in this pregnancy that I was in trouble. I suddenly found myself in the parking lot of Chick-fil-a, Leo in the backseat, bawling my eyes out while talking to Toby on the phone. Well, I actually wasn't talking, more like blubbering. I know I scared the be-jeezus out of Toby and the poor guy didn't know what to do!  He asked me if I was planning on eating at Chick-fil-a and I let out a loud howl and screamed "NO! I have no idea where I'm going! I don't even like Chick-fil-a!!!' He (of course was speechless..... wouldn't you be?) and I then whispered, "Ok. bye." He didn't call me back right away....

So there I am, overcome with sadness and tears, barely able to catch my breath. A feeling I am totally not used to. I am NOT a crier. I do not cry or get emotional easily. I cannot cry on demand or bring on tears when I get a traffic ticket. (life would be a lot easier if I could do that....) So this spell I was experiencing in the Chick-fil-a parking lot, was new to me. With the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme song playing in the background, I seriously thought the world was ending. It. Was. Terrible.

Some other events that have occurred due to my hormones messin' with me are as follows.....

1. Toby accusing me of throwing away his nose-hair trimmer and I screamed at him for a solid 4 minutes without taking a breath.

2. Toby casually mentioned that he needed to vacuum the carpet. I (my hormones) took that comment very personally.

3. Toby innocently asked me if Leo and I played outside today. This resulted in me looking at him like this:

My poor hubby...... God bless him. Seriously.

Anyway- this post serves a few purposes.

1. I needed to vent a bit and laugh at myself a little.

2. I need to verify to myself that everything I am experiencing concerning my hormones is totally outta my control and I can't help it. It's. Not. My. Fault.

3. To let others know that they are not alone if they too sometimes loose their s**t.

4. To let my husband know that I love him more than he will ever know and how much I appreciate him putting up with the "whores" in my life.



Midweek Confessions (Part 13) By: Jess

I don't feel like I have a TON to confess right now, but I am itching to write SOMETHING, so here it goes.....

Go to E's blog and check out some other confessions!

1. I'm possibly getting induced next week.....Tuesday or Wednesday. I will find out for sure on Monday. My doctor asked me why I wanted to be induced, to which I responded, "Dr. Hoffman.... I've got things to do!" Ready or not, Ceceilia, you're comin!!

2.  I'm excited and nervous about school starting. Word on the street is that we are getting a GREAT bunch of kids coming into the 8th grade, to which I am soooo grateful! Also, I'm thrilled about NOT being pregnant this school year! It's amazing how much my love for my job changes when I'm "with child". I'm a tid bit nervous starting the school year with a newborn! I am not taking any maternity leave cause I NEED my days for the rest of the year. I have NO IDEA how I am gonna do this....but I'm sure I will figure it out! I have a feeling coffee and energy drinks will be my new BFF's.

3. I have worn the same outfit for the last 3 months. Mesh basketball shorts and a WS Hornet t-shirt. I'm not proud of it and CANNOT wait to get dressed in the morning and put on an actual outfit, with accessories, and (wait for it...) REAL SHOES!!

4. I have recently developed a love (addiction? craving?) for Kraft cheese singles. I know it is not "real cheese" but it tastes so dang good.

5. I got my nails done the other day and paid extra to get the gel polish that is SUPPOSED to last longer. It literally peeled off every nail within 3 days. Nice.

6. Leo is ALL BOY! I seriously think it will take him falling off the coffee table or flipping over the side of the couch and hurting himself, to understand that what he is doing is dangerous!!! Apparently Mom and dad telling him to "get down" is not working.

7. Word cannot express how excited I am to go to the beach for 2 days with my husband....minus kids.

8. I have nothing planned for dinner until August 23rd. Everyone is gonna have to fend for themselves.

9. Trying to organize and plan when everyone is going to come visit us after Cece is born was total chaos and almost killed me.

10. I have contacts that have been waiting for me to pick up at the eye doctor for 3 weeks and a percription waiting for me to pick up at CVS for 2 weeks. I simply don't want to pay the money. Call me cheap. Call me lazy. What-ev.

11. I LOVE LOVE LOVE it when I ask Leo to "gimme a kiss" and he does it! Melts. My. Heart.

12. I'm totally obsessed with the new reality show NY MED. Awesome! Tuesday nights! Watch it!

11. Toby came home from work the other day and asked me if "I took Leo outside to play today?" A very innocent question to the average human being. Not to me. I proceeded to tell him, "No. I didn't take him outside to "play". #1- him "playing" means me chasing him around the house and neighborhood so he doesn't kill himself. #2- When you weigh close to 200 lbs and are carrying a watermelon inside your body, that is constantly karate chopping your organs, the DEAD LAST thing you want to do if go "play" outside. #3- 98 degrees feels like 1,249 degrees to me.  His question made me so mad, I went to bed at 6:30pm and didn't speak to him for almost 2 days. I'd be lying if I said I was completely over it.

And I think we should end on that happy note. :)

Blogger 411 Link-Up with "Mrs. to Mama" (by: Jess)

So I have been following this GREAT blog called "From Mrs. to Mama" for several months now!

CHECK IT OUT!

I love it! It's intresting to me cause she (Becky) is a cool gal who handles it all....work, wife, mama.

Like me.

Or at least I try darn hard to handle all that!

 I'm sure I don't do it as brillantly as her.  I look forward to reading her posts and maybe even learning a thing or two! But, sometimes I feel like a stalker..... I feel like I know her but she dosen't know me. It makes me feel like a creeper.....mainly cause I read her blog sooooo much!! And because of THIS conversation that happened between my hubby and I.......

Me: Leo needs a new sippy that dosen't leak!
Toby: What kind should we get?
Me: Well, my friend, Becky, uses this kind. (show Toby picture of cup online)
Toby: Ok, we will try it. Who's "Becky"?
Me: Oh.....well.... I guess we are not really "friends".......
Toby: What!?!?
Me: I mean. I know her, but she dosen't know me.
Toby: CREEPY.
Me: I read her blog.
Toby: so just because you read her blog, you think you two are friends?
Me:  Yeah....that is kinda creepy.

So, when she offered a link-up to get to know her readers, I figured it was time I revealed myself! I know that I'm not THAT AMAZING that I just HAVE to share all details of myself with her and her million readers..... but I just wanted to introduce myself and say "Hey. I'm Jessica. We have a lot in common. I enjoy your blog. Thanks for writing and sharing!" That's all. Maybe we can become cyber-friends? One can never have enough......

411 Blogger Link-Up

with

"From Mrs. to Mama" 

1. How long have you been blogging? And what got you started on blogging? Has your blog changed?
I have been blogging for about 1 1/2 years. My BFF, Lindsey, and I share this blog. She approached me with the idea of starting it. I wasn't thrilled about the idea and (to be honest) bloggers kinda annoyed me...... but I love the girl and she really wanted to start one.... so I said "sure! Why not?!".  From the first post, I was hooked! I never realized how much I wanted to say, share, and put down in the memory books. This blog QUICKLY became my own personal journal and scrapbook for my kido-s. I want Leo and Cece to be able to read through all the posts, years and years from now, and learn a little more about their Mom and what was going on in HER life. On our blog we talk about a lot of things! Some posts are serious. Some are funny. Some are just plain real. And some are just plain random. We share a lot of recipes on it as well.  Thanks to Becky (author of "From Mrs. to Mama") I am going to make a blog book for every year of our blog. (blog2print.com)  I'm crazy proud of it. I love it.

2. Did you go to college? If so where, and what did you study?
I went to the University of Findlay (with Lindsey), in Findlay OH, for my undergrad. I majored in middle childhood education and recieved a teaching degree in English and Social Studies for grades 4-9.  I taught 7th and 8th grade for about 5 years before I continued my education. I then went to Columbia College, in Columbia SC, where I recieved my Master's degree in Divergent Learning.  I currently teach 8th grade Social Studies and 7th and 8th grade Character Education at a very "cool school" in South Carolina that I totally adore!

3. Where have you traveled?
Not really anywhere extremely thrilling. I've been to Las Vegas (my FAV!), Disney World (several times on school field trips), The Outer Banks in NC, Panama City Beach, Ft. Myers Beach, Daytona Beach in FL, Little Rock AK (for a wedding), NYC (senior class trip), Washington DC, Charleston SC, Hollywood CA (my sister used to live there) and The Bahammas. Some places I want to travel to before I kick the bucket are: Anywhere in the New England area, New orleans, San Francisco, England, Italy, Hawaii, and Bora Bora.

4. If you won the lottery, what would be the first thing you would buy?
Beach House or tickets and accomodations to an AMAZING tropical vacation with my hubby!!

5. What are your 3 biggest pet peeves?
 Concieded people. Ugly language. People with no sense of humor.

6. What is your favorite movie?
Omg. That's a tough one...... Under the Tuscan Sun. (and about 1,000 more!)

7. What is your drink of choice; wine, beer, or liquor. Or Water, Soda, Tea?
Red Wine, Dirty Martini's, Blue Moon with an orange, Corona. I also like Coke, water with Mio Sweet Tea flavor, and Diet Lipton Critus Green Tea.

8. What is something you enjoy to do when you have me time?
Shop for deals at Ross, Target, Dollar Store, Goodwill, and yard sales. I also love to get my nails done, try new recipes, and watch reality TV like Real Housewives, Teen Mom, and Dance Mom's.

9. If you could have a $10,000 shopping spree to one store, which store would it be?
NY and Co. (I still call it "Learner") or JCP.

10. What day would you love to relive again?
The day my son was born! Such happiness and excitement!!

11. If your life was turned into a movie... what actor would play you?
Maybe Cameron Diaz? NOT because she looks anything like me or our bodies are similar..... cause we couldn't look more physically different from one another.... but because she always seems to play fun roles. She a little comedic, she's a "girl's girl", always has some sort of man problem, can sometimes be a little rough around the edges, and always has a good time.
Yeah, that's be a good cast.

12. What are the jobs you had in high school/college/the early years?
High School- Worked as a file clerk in my dad's doctor's office in the summer time. I also was a table busser at a local rib restaurant in town and I taught dance lessons one night a week.
College- Waitress at a local restaurant and worked retail at JCP.
Early Years- 7th grade English teacher, 7th grade Social Studies teacher. 7th and 8th grade Creative Writing teacher, summer school teacher.
Currently- 8th grade Social Studies

13. Show us a picture from high school or college.

Me in High School. I'm the only one with brown hair! 

College. I'm standing in the back row, last one on the right, pink two-piece.

Most current. My husband and I at a baby shower that was thrown for us by our bible study group. We are the couple on the left. Shower was thrown in May. Baby is due early August!



14. If you could travel anywhere in the world, all expenses paid, where would you go?
Bora Bora. I've always wanted to go somewhere tropical with my hubby!

16. Show us the most current picture of you or you and your family.

This was taken in March. It was Leo's 1st birthday party! My husband, Toby is on the right and I am holding Leo!

16. Where do you see your life 5 years from now?
2 kids. Leo will be 6 and Cece will be 5. Still living in our home in Simpsonville, SC. I will still be teaching at the same school and Toby will (hopefully) still be working at Benson's, but maybe in another position? I will be 37 years old in 5 years (yikes?!?!) and hopefully we will have taken the kido-s to Disney already or be getting ready to! I hope, pray, and wish to God that our dog, Gertie is still alive and very much apart of our family! I can't even think about life without her.  I don't want THAT much to change in 5 years time.... I'm pretty darn happy with what we've got goin and I hope it continues!!! xoxox

Wanted. (By: Jess)

So I heard this song today.

Most people would think it was a love song, written by a man to the woman he loves.

I mean, I'm almost positive that is waht the song is suppossed to be about.

But.......

From the 1st second I heard it, I immediately thought of my baby girl, Ceceilia.

Cece was all I could think about the entire time I listened to this song. 

It has finally happened...... I FINALLY feel OK with having another baby. I FINALLY feel content with bringing another baby into our family. I FINALLY feel like I MIGHT be able to do this.

I knew this would happen, this feeling of ease and relief........ I just didn't know when it would happen.

Great timing! I predict Cece will be here with us in a couple weeks or so, so I am very grateful for the new feelings I am feeling!

I can only thank God for this....... I've tried my best to leave all my fear, anxiety, confusion, stress, questions, and insecurity with Him and let Him sort through it all.

Well, He did. And once it was all sorted through, He gave it all back to me...... in the form of love, excitement, confidence, reassurance, and positivity.

I am breathing a sigh of relief tonight and bouncing with excitement to meet my lil girl, cause now I feel like "I got this". Bring it!

LISTEN TO CECE'S SONG:

How Ya Feelin'? Part 7 (By: Jess)

The question I get asked everyday is, "How are you feeling"? So, I decided to do occasional updates on that exact topic.

I am currently 36 weeks along. (9 months)
Size of Baby
A honeydew melon
Gender?

Lil Princess
Name?
Ceceilia Grace Rolfes.  "Cece" for short.

Movement
About to kick one of my ribs out!! I have been feelin a lot of braxon hicks contractions. I never had them with Leo. Kinda cool.
Sleep Report

 Getting better. Not sweating as much (stopped taking flagil) and I've been so tired lately I fall asleep really fast. I have still been having crazy a$$ dreams though. I hate them!
What I miss

EVERYTHING that is forbidden while one is pregnant. I also cannot wait for it NOT to hurt when I get up from any type of position into another one.

Cravings
 McDonald's cheeseburgers, oatmeal, Coke, fruit
Weird Happenings
The braxon hicks were weird at first
Advise and/or comments
Good- I had lunch with my friend, Christie, the other day. I told her I was STILL terrified about having two kids and figuring out some type of schedule. She looked at me and smiled and said "it all comes together". Bless her. 
 Bad-  Toby and I took Leo to the pool a couple weeks ago. A lady was down there as well. She looked at me. Then at Leo. Then felt the need to say, "Wow! You are gonna have your hands full soon!" I looked at her, smiled, and thought to myself...... "bite me."
Best Moment(s)

Finding some more adorable clothes for Cece. Washing them up and putting them away.
Organizing her dresser drawers and closet
Packing mine and Cece's hospital bags.
Planning out my dinner schedule for the month of July and leaving the entire last week of the month blank!

Meltdowns
I watched the movie "The Perfect Storm" the other day. Sobbed like Leo, when he wants a bottle and mom won't give him one.
What I am looking forward to
Getting my stitch out!
Dr.'s appointments every Monday
Making some new recipes to freeze and save for once I start back to work and all hell breaks loose.
Labor and delivery (seriously) 
Announcing when "SHE IS HERE!" 
 How many weeks left

4 (or less!!)
Getting Prepared
Bags packed
I found a baby monitor and bouncy seat
Still need a sleep/sound machine
Current Mental Status

Excited. Anxious. Blessed.

**OHMYGOODNESS..... it just hit me. This could be my last "How Ya Feelin" post! In the words of Joey Lawrence , back in the "Blossom" days.......... "WOAH!"

Happy with what I've got. (By: Jess)

I could wish, hope, pray, daydream, and fantasize about having this...

But, I'm totally happy, content, blessed, and thankful to have this....

(but one of these two defiantly needs to learn to dance to "Pony" by Ginuwine ASAP!)

Love you, Toby! xoxox