How ya feelin' (PART 3) (By: Jessica)

The question I get asked everyday is, "How are you feeling"? So, I decided to do occasional updates on that exact topic.

I am currently 20 weeks along. (5 months)
Size of BabyA small cantaloupe

Gender
March 26th is the BIG day!!!
Name?I've got (2) names nailed down! A boy name (which recently changed and is now FINAL) and a girl name. I'm still undecided on the spelling of the girl name, but we will cross that bridge when (and if) we get there.
MovementA little. Tiny "bumps bumps". Felt the first one on a Sunday morning. This bumpkin does not move like Leo did!
Sleep ReportSleeping a little better. Weird dreams come and go. I am going to bed by 9pm every night and it usually takes me a solid 3 minutes to fully fall asleep.
What I missAlcohol (it's all I think about), cute spring clothes, and having extra energy to work out and be outside being active.
CravingsAppetite is coming and going. It's the strongest in the morning and afternoon and dies down at night. I have been having a hard time finding a meal for dinner that I really, really want. Most of the stuff I have been cooking (or planning on cooking) has not sounded good to me at all. I have made several meals the past week or so that I haven't even eaten. I have been wanting pancakes. Also, slim jims and sushi.
Weird Happenings
Leo is suddenly obsessed with pulling up my shirt and poking his tiny finger in my belly button. I wonder if he knows there is a baby in there? A few nights ago, he randomly kissed my belly. Weird......
Advise and/or comments
Good- I was having another panic attack about the thought of handling 2 babies by myself on nights that Toby works late (3 mights a week). I texted my "baby daddy" and told him of my worries. He responded with the nicest text ever and words that I really, really needed to hear! Thanks, Toby! xoxo
Bad- Honestly, none. :) Thank you, Lort!
Best Moment(s)The excitement that is building about finding out the gender!!
MeltdownsSurprisingly..... none. Huge shot out goes to Dr. Hoffman ("The Hoff") for giving me some help with my crazy moods! I FINALLY (after 5 months) feel more like myself.
What I am looking forward toFinding out the gender! If it's a girl, I have THE MOST BEAUTIFUL bedding picked out!!!
How many weeks left20 weeks (half-way mark)
Getting PreparedHaven't really done anything else since the last update. I'm sure once we know the gender, the nursery will start transforming more.
Current Mental StatusGlad to report that I'm finally (mentally) feeling better. Yay! I still freak myself out from time to time about how I am going to handle a newborn and a 1 and a half year old, but I'm learning to "give it to God" for now.

Major life decision (By: Jess)

Bangs.

Something I've been considering for months.
Should I or shouldn't I?

This is a serious question. Life changing, if you want me to be honest.

It's also a serious commitment. Is it something I can handle?

I specifically remember the days of Jr High when I had"big bangs". They were thick, ugly, and I curled them. Tightly. I would wrestle with them every morning and spend countless hours "fixing" them. This is NOT something I am wanting to re-live. No need to walk down memory lane with that flashback.
I do not want thick, heavy bangs. Like this....I do not want bangs that will split down the middle. Like this.....I do not want bangs that will constantly be in my face. Like this.....
I do not want too short bangs. Like this.....

I want bangs that are cute, easy, and give my hair a "style". I don't want them in my face, but just brushing my eyebrows. I want then thin enough, but not so thin they are flying away and too wispy to control. I want something along the lines of this....

Thoughts? Suggestions? Comments? Concerns? I'm open.......

Confessions....Part 6 (By: Jessica)

I'm fessin' up about the following things.....

1. I buy the wrong shade of foundation EVERY TIME I need to get new make-up. SO annoying.
2. I have fallen in love with Nature Valley Oats and Dark Chocolate granola bars. TO DIE FOR.
3. Missing the 1st few weeks of school next year is buggin me. That is the worst time to miss. I'm considering going back to work early.......
4. I cannot wait to find out the gender of this bumpkin. I think this pregnancy will seem more "real" at that point. "It" needs a name and a pronoun.
5. The past few dinner's I have made, Toby has enjoyed and I have not eaten a bite of it. Weird.
6. Nothing sounds good to me except sushi. And, YES, I can eat it! As long as it is tempura!
7. I ate shrimp, flounder, and scallops last weekend while at the beach. And loved it.
8. I'm obsessing over the fact that I can't drink alcohol. I think about it all the time.
9. I'm obsessed with how stinkin cute Leo is!
10. I'm considering bangs..... thoughts??
11. Leo's birthday party is more for me and Toby than for him. I'm so proud of Leo, but just as proud (if not more) of us!

You Made It! (By: Jessica)

Leo....... YOU MADE IT! You have survived this CrAzY world for 1 whole year!!! Good boy!



Words cannot express how proud I am of you, my little boy! You are my dream come true!



I am amazed everyday by your cuteness! You light up my world every morning when I see "that smile"!



You are such a good baby and always have been!



You sleep through the night like an angel!



You go to bed around 8pm every night and sleep til 6:30am on school days and 7am on the weekends!



You weight 23 lbs and wear a size 4 diaper



You are wearing 12 months clothes comfortably. 18 months is still a little big, but you wear it sometimes when your mom slacks on laundry!



You LOVE to walk and started walking at 11months old!



You love to be chased and attacked by "the claw"!



You like to play "pat-a-cake", love any type of ball, love to play on the dishwasher, and love to look out the sliding glass door.



You are SLOWLY learning what "no, no, no" means.



Gerite is your mission in life and you will not stop until you have caught her!



You take 2 naps a day. One is short, the other is long. 1st nap is usually around 9am, the 2nd nap is usually around 1pm.



You take a bath every night and you love to stand in the tub. You and Daddy play a game where you throw all your toys in the tub, one at a time.



You hate when Mommy and Daddy pour water on your head.



You cannot sleep without your sound machine on "rain"



You have a favorite blanket. (the one with the elephants)



You usually fall asleep in moms arms, snuggling on the couch, drinking your bottle.



You are kind of a picky eater. You LOVE mandarin oranges, yogurt, pancakes, and "puffies". Mom usually feeds you steamed mixed veggies, some jar baby food (though you are starting to not like it), oatmeal mixed with bananas and milk, rice (not a fan), turkey and vegetable ravioli, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, and corn.



You are starting to cry when Mommy drops you off at the babysitters. It breaks my heart, but Miss Wendy can usually get you to stop within minutes of Mommy leaving.





You drink whole milk.





You are obsessed with Daddy's belly button.



You like to give kisses. Open mouth. Very wet.



You love to play with Gertie's toys and vice versa.



You are getting really good at climbing up the stairs!



Your fingernails grow very fast!




I love you more than words can explain and am so proud to be your mama! You are amazing and I am in awe of you! The hopes and dreams I have for you make me so excited. I hope I do a good job being your Mom! I love you, baby! Thank you for an incredible 365 days! Many, many, many more are ahead! I love ya I love ya I love ya!

Survivor (By: Jessica)

Well, we did it.
Toby and I have survived our first year raising a child. The pleasure has been all ours! Looking forward to many more years ahead! But.... holy moly, a lot has changed! ( for the better I will add!)
Here is a lit of realizations, trials, new challenges, let downs, and triumphs I (we) have experienced the past 365 days since Leo Beck rocked our world.....
1. I have a high pain tolerance.
2. I miss getting all the attention from my husband.
3. Our marriage has had extreme highs and moderate lows.
4. Toby and I compete with each other more than we realize.
5. Leo makes me want to be a better person.
6. Money does not grow on trees.
7. It's OK for my job to come 2nd.
8. Our "home" has never felt the same as before.
9. I have never felt more guilty in my life than I have the second I became a mom. If fact, the guilt started in the hospital, the night Leo was born.
10. I have forgotten how to clean......and I love it.
11. Some things that used to be a big deal now are not.
12. Alcohol is more important to me and serves an entirely different purpose than it used to.
13. Our personal needs (gladly) come second.
14. Having a child......makes women VERY fertile. (Er....would have been good to know in advance.)
15. I'd rather have Leo be comfortable that be stylish.
16. My faith has changed. (in a good way)
17. I depend on Toby more than I ever thought I would/could.
18. Saying "no" to things is easier
19. There are some people who I thought would play a bigger role in Leo's life than they currently do.
20. DO NOT (repeat: DO NOT) play "airplane" with a baby who just ate.21. Mobiles, comforters, absorbant mattress pads, and diaper stacker's were pointless for us.
22. Costco membership is a "must have" for us.23. A lot of the "just wait" comments people told me were rubbish.
24. The park is more fun now than when I was 10.
25. Not all public restrooms have a "baby changing station".
26. 1 hr in the early morning of "me time" is totally necessary.
27. My babysitter is more than a sitter... she is helping me raise my son.
28. Not having family close by is difficult.
29. Gertie will always be our first baby.
30. Since becoming a parent, I have grown up tremendously.
31. There is soooooo much that I want to do in my life!!!!

It's been one amazing year! Based on THIS year, I have NO IDEA what is in store for the next year......or the next or the next or the next or the next........

Chris Bensch (By: Jessica)

Below is an amazing story. An amzing story, about an amazing man, who my husband and I are blessed to know.

MORPH- Chris Bensch

Click Here.

You will be glad you did.

Dear..... (By: Jess)

Dear Leo,
Please stop grinding your teeth. Daddy and I cannot take the sound! Thanks, pal!
Love, Mom

Dear Baby in my belly,
Please be a girl! (If you are not, things will be fine and I will love you just as you are! No worries!)
Love, Mom

Dear Current 8th grade students,
Please start caring. About your grades, about your future, about your actions and their consequences, about how you treat others, about how you make your parents look, and really about anything other than yourselves and the current moment. Thanks.
Sincerely, Your frustrated teacher who is about to give up on you.

Dear Jersey Shore Cast,
I'm about over you.
Sincerely, A fan who's love for you is getting old....just like you.

Dear Haggen-Dazs Pineapple and Coconut Ice Cream,
Thank you for existing.
Love, Your Stalker

Dear Pintrest,
You are bittersweet. I love you and hate you. I love you for all the cool, creative, and clever ideas you give me. But, I hate you for making me realize that I'm too cheap, lazy, and unmotivated to do anything with all my pins.
With Love (and a little hate), Jessica

Dear Whit,
I'm sorry you died. I knew the crack would catch up with you. Why did you do this to yourself, girl? Dammmmmmn. You (were) so totally talented. I'm still "Waiting to Exhale". I don't think anyone will ever replace you. You (were) amazing in every way. Thanks for creating some of my most favorite songs. I will still listen to them (and enjoy them) even though you are now gone. Rest in Peace, Sister. Say HI to MJ for me. Man, ya'll just killin the music industry. No one left with any talent..... except Nicki Minaj. (totally kidding. what a joke.)
Love, A Fan

Dear Self,
Please relax and take a deep breath. You can't do it all. You will never be your version of "perfect", so why are you trying so hard? YOU are your worst enemy and hardest critic. In the words of your awesome husband, "take a chill pill". Things happen the way God wants them to, not the way you want them to. Accept this. Please just give it all to God to handle, you won't regret it.
Love, Yourself.
P.S. Remember: money doesn't grow on trees, the scale is an evil monster and needs to be destroyed (at least until September), and you are a lucky, lucky gal.