Wanted. (By: Jess)

So I heard this song today.

Most people would think it was a love song, written by a man to the woman he loves.

I mean, I'm almost positive that is waht the song is suppossed to be about.

But.......

From the 1st second I heard it, I immediately thought of my baby girl, Ceceilia.

Cece was all I could think about the entire time I listened to this song. 

It has finally happened...... I FINALLY feel OK with having another baby. I FINALLY feel content with bringing another baby into our family. I FINALLY feel like I MIGHT be able to do this.

I knew this would happen, this feeling of ease and relief........ I just didn't know when it would happen.

Great timing! I predict Cece will be here with us in a couple weeks or so, so I am very grateful for the new feelings I am feeling!

I can only thank God for this....... I've tried my best to leave all my fear, anxiety, confusion, stress, questions, and insecurity with Him and let Him sort through it all.

Well, He did. And once it was all sorted through, He gave it all back to me...... in the form of love, excitement, confidence, reassurance, and positivity.

I am breathing a sigh of relief tonight and bouncing with excitement to meet my lil girl, cause now I feel like "I got this". Bring it!

LISTEN TO CECE'S SONG:

How Ya Feelin'? Part 7 (By: Jess)

The question I get asked everyday is, "How are you feeling"? So, I decided to do occasional updates on that exact topic.

I am currently 36 weeks along. (9 months)
Size of Baby
A honeydew melon
Gender?

Lil Princess
Name?
Ceceilia Grace Rolfes.  "Cece" for short.

Movement
About to kick one of my ribs out!! I have been feelin a lot of braxon hicks contractions. I never had them with Leo. Kinda cool.
Sleep Report

 Getting better. Not sweating as much (stopped taking flagil) and I've been so tired lately I fall asleep really fast. I have still been having crazy a$$ dreams though. I hate them!
What I miss

EVERYTHING that is forbidden while one is pregnant. I also cannot wait for it NOT to hurt when I get up from any type of position into another one.

Cravings
 McDonald's cheeseburgers, oatmeal, Coke, fruit
Weird Happenings
The braxon hicks were weird at first
Advise and/or comments
Good- I had lunch with my friend, Christie, the other day. I told her I was STILL terrified about having two kids and figuring out some type of schedule. She looked at me and smiled and said "it all comes together". Bless her. 
 Bad-  Toby and I took Leo to the pool a couple weeks ago. A lady was down there as well. She looked at me. Then at Leo. Then felt the need to say, "Wow! You are gonna have your hands full soon!" I looked at her, smiled, and thought to myself...... "bite me."
Best Moment(s)

Finding some more adorable clothes for Cece. Washing them up and putting them away.
Organizing her dresser drawers and closet
Packing mine and Cece's hospital bags.
Planning out my dinner schedule for the month of July and leaving the entire last week of the month blank!

Meltdowns
I watched the movie "The Perfect Storm" the other day. Sobbed like Leo, when he wants a bottle and mom won't give him one.
What I am looking forward to
Getting my stitch out!
Dr.'s appointments every Monday
Making some new recipes to freeze and save for once I start back to work and all hell breaks loose.
Labor and delivery (seriously) 
Announcing when "SHE IS HERE!" 
 How many weeks left

4 (or less!!)
Getting Prepared
Bags packed
I found a baby monitor and bouncy seat
Still need a sleep/sound machine
Current Mental Status

Excited. Anxious. Blessed.

**OHMYGOODNESS..... it just hit me. This could be my last "How Ya Feelin" post! In the words of Joey Lawrence , back in the "Blossom" days.......... "WOAH!"

Happy with what I've got. (By: Jess)

I could wish, hope, pray, daydream, and fantasize about having this...

But, I'm totally happy, content, blessed, and thankful to have this....

(but one of these two defiantly needs to learn to dance to "Pony" by Ginuwine ASAP!)

Love you, Toby! xoxox

Midweek Confessions, Part 12 (by: Jess)

1. Leo has started falling asleep on the floor for his nap. And I totally let him.
2. I'm sooooooo excited for our family beach trip..... summer 2013 and 2014. Ok, So I like to have things to look forward to...
3. Toby is taking me to Ocean Isle beach for a weekend to celebrate my birthday. Cece will likley only be about (maybe) 3 weeks old. I feel a little bad about leaving her..... but I'm sooooooo lookking forward to some time with my husband and the ocean!
4. We recently got new bedding from Anna's Linens in Greenville. My bed feels like a new bed. Best. Bedding. Ever. I adore it!!!
5. I go grocery shopping once a month. One. Big. trip. It usually takes me a couple days to get my list organized and monthly dinner menu planned. Honestly.... I really enjoy it!
6. I'm still terrifief about Cece joining our family.
7. I had the 24 hr flu a few days ago. I hate vomit, the act of vomiting, or anything that looks, smells, or sounds like vomit. I will say that when I am "sick", I turn on water facutes, bathroom fans, showers, shut my eyes tight, and flush the toilet over and over and over again, all to avoid all things vomit.
8. Recently I have been buying things that have really let me down! Example...sippy cups that leak, hooks for hanging pots that do not stick out far enough, a new sprinkler for Leo that dosen't spray as good as it should, a life jacket for leo that dosen't float him like it should, and a picture frame that had 3 slots for pictures and I only wanted 2. Ugh.
9. I bought all 3 "50 Shades of Gray" books and started the 1st one..... a month ago. I just can't get into it. Am I weird?
10. For the past 4 or 5 months my Netflix movies have came in the mail and we have not watched any of them before I mailed them back.
11. I'm going to see "Magic Mike" on Sunday and words cannot express how excited I am. Actually..... I'm a little scared!
12. I strive to be the best mom, wife, friend, Christian, teacher, sister, and daughter I can be. It's exhausting. And I fail....daily.
13. I just hit "spell check" on this post before offically posting it.... and for the 1st time EVER I didn't spell about 25 words wrong! Spell check must be broken.

The Bieber (By: Jess)

Ok. It's time to confess..... I ADORE Justin Bieber.

Not in a Channing Tantum kind of way.
Not the way I adored NKOTB.
Not the way I drool over Jake Gylenhall.

I love Justin Bieber like a proud mama.

Let me explain.

I think this kids is soooo extremely talented. 

But let's start with the obvious. Yes, he is adorable. He is stinkin cute!!! I'm not "attracted" to him like his trillion fans. He's a tad young for me, and well, that's sick. But, I think he is extremely cute. He has beautiful eyes and a knock-out smile.  Not to mention great hair for a guy. See for yourself....

But besides that.... he is so, so, so, so talented! This kid can really sing. I mean, I'm no music teacher or anything, but I think he's good. Everytime I hear his music, I just smile and think, "way to go, kid! You rock!" I love his voice! It's upbeat and catchy and a lil raspy and soulful! I honestly could listen to him for hours! Seriously. I don't care what people say or how many eyes roll.....he's good. Just listen....it won't kill ya....

He can also dance! Like, really good!! I'm telling you....talent! I LOVE young talent!! He's also sweet, polite, respectful, and mature.

I secretly pray that Leo is the Justin Bieber of his generation. Hey....it could happen.......

Burst of Energy (By: Lindsey)

I think I've said it before, but I love a plan and when your 9 1/2 months pregnant having a plan, organizing, and getting prepared is called nesting.   I've been nesting it up in the kitchen and I'm super proud of what I've accomplished in the last few days.  I've had an eye on several recipe items that I pinned on Pinterest, which I believe is brilliant, genius.  Seriously, who ever thought Pinterest? I'd like to shake your hand, give a high five, maybe a hug.  I just want to know how you came up with this idea. 

Since we are all home in the summer and wake up with appetites, having some quick breakfast items on hand besides cereal is a need or maybe its a want.  Either way, the Oatmeal Smoothies, I whipped up are great for you and very fulfilling.  After pinning this Yummy Oatmeal Smoothies, I decided to make the cherry vanilla, apple peanut butter, blueberry pomegranate, and my very own creation of orange banana.  I have approximately 20 different smoothies ready to go for the next few months.  This was especially appealing to me as I had mason jars from my daughters party in which I made Cake in Jars, another inspiration from Pinterest.  God love you.   Utilizing these jars, with smoothies seemed like a fabulous idea.  Super easy, if you go to the link you will notice the recipes calls for Chai seeds, I opted for wheat germ instead.   I used dried cherries, frozen blueberries, fresh bananas as the recipe varies depending on the condition of the fruit.   I did happen to taste test all of them, the apple peanut butter is pretty spectacular and cherry vanilla ranks a close second.  

While whipping up these flavored smoothies, I preheated my oven, gathered my muffin pan, and cracked twelve eggs for my next frozen breakfast meal.   Egg and Cheese Breakfast Sandwiches are super easy and freeze great.  The hardest part about this recipe is cracking and dumping without getting those egg shells in:), but no worries thanks to my real simple magazine, I learned that you should crack the eggs on a flat surface, like my butcher block or countertop, instead of on the edge of a dish and doing so allows the crack to break throughout the membrane of the egg which decreases the chance of the shell breaking off.  And by golly, it really works.   I cracked twelve eggs into my muffin pan, popped them in the oven for 10-15 minutes.  Sliced up 8 english muffins (which I was pretty sure the whole package had 12, but quickly learned I was going to be short 4), rummaged through my deli/cheese drawer in the refrigerator came up with colby jack, muenster, and provolone cheese - popped my english muffins in the oven (while the eggs were still cooking) for about 5 minutes, just to give them a little toast.  Once everything came out of the oven I assembled them.  Bread, cheese slice, egg, bread and BAMM. Done.  Put them in the freezer for an hour on a cookie sheet, them got them out and wrapped them individually in foil, labeled my freezer bags and put into the freezer.  Oh yea, for the four that did not have bread, I just put the cheese and eggs together to freeze and figure we can add the bread the morning of:).  According to the blog, (see link above), this is suppose to be comparable to McDonalds Egg McMuffins, if so, I know I just scored big with the hubby:)

Can I just tell you how distracted I am right now, on the food network, Giada, is making chocolate covered fried bananas.  I'm actually pondering if I have the ingredients. HA!

Back to my day in the kitchen, next, I made the "bomb burritos." After all, we do need something to eat for dinner.  I made four and froze the remaining 14 for future meals.  This meal idea/recipe comes from my sister in law's blog, she's a fantastic cook.  This is super easy and one of McKinley's favorites.  I purchase the "mini" flour burrito wraps for her and this makes for a great lunch or dinner, if Mommy and Daddy are away from home.  Just pop in the oven on cookie sheet for 40-50 minutes.  These lay frozen very well in the freezer as well.

Should be tired by now, but one of the signs of soon to be labor, is a sudden burst of energy. So I'm like the bunny, I keep going and going.  Next up, is the Terriyaki Chicken Freezer Meal.  Gather the ingredients, label the bags and assemble as suggested on this blog.  EASY, PEASY and now I have two bags/meals ready to put in the crockpot.

Lastly, the Spinach Lasagna Rolls.  I love me some spinach and McKinley loves anything with red sauce, so this a win - win, except I'm not sure what my husband thinks.  He's to nice and probably wouldn't really tell me.  Although, I suspect he will say something like, I just need a little more "meat, protein" this just isn't filling me up.  So for me I make a mental note to serve with garlic cheese texas toast- then he's a happy camper.  Or I just make this when it's just McKinley and I.   As the recipe says, cook the noodles, whip up the cheeses and spinach, ladle onto the dried but cooked noodles, roll, freeze for 30 minutes, then wrap individually.  Serve with tomato sauce and mozzarella cheese after baking at 350 for an hour or so.  These rolls are frozen and ready to go in the freezer waiting for a baby Coy.  C'mon Coy- let's get the ball rollin'!

Dear Cece (By: Jess)

Hi darlin'!

Do you realize what a gift you are to Daddy and I? YOU ARE A GIRL!! WOW! We never thought that would happen! You are soon to be born into a family (on the Rolfes side) with a lot of boys...all boys to be exact. You have a lot of responsibility on your hands! Feel free to teach these boys a thing or two about being a girl! I know that you will fit right in!!

When Mommy found out that you were a beating heart inside my tummy, I was terrified! I'm not going to lie to you, baby. I was shocked, scared, and didn't know what to do! Of course, your daddy played it "so cool" and just smiled at me with that knock-out smile of his. I cried. and cried. and cried. Not because I didn't want you, but because emotionally, mentally, and physically I wasn't quite ready for you just yet. But, God has His own plan, and He was ready for you, so I had 9 months to get used to the idea!

It took me a few months.....if you want me to be honest..... to fully accept that you were real. I still feel the need to be pinch or woken up! You are a dream come true, baby!

When we went to the Dr to find out if you were a GIRL or BOY I was so excited! I secretly was hopin, wishin', and prayin' that you were a little girl...... but I didn't want to get my hopes up too much. A little boy would have been fine. Honestly, it would have. (if you were a boy, your name would have been Tate William.)  We adore your brother and would have welcomed another baby boy into the family with open arms! But, deep down..... a little girl was what my heart was aching for.

When I heard the nurse say, "I see a little girl", my hands immediately went up to my mouth in total shock! NO WAY!!! Seriously?!?!?! Ohmygoodness...... really?!?! For real?!?! Ohmy!!!!! A girl!!!!!

When we called Grandma and Grandpa and Nonnie to tell them the good news, they all were sooooo thrilled!! From that moment on, it was pink, pink, pink!!

As soon as I knew you were a girl, I went shopping for the perfect bedroom for a princess!! I found some bedding that I loved and Nonnie bought it for you! Grandpa painted your room pink (or course) and I loved seeing him covered in pink paint!! You are going to sleep in your brothers old bed and use his old changing table and rocking chair! I hope you love it as much as he did! Aunt Jilly and Mommy put a lot of little touches on your bedroom. We hand-painted canvas's that matched the flowers in your blanket. We also painted little wooden butterflies that Aunt Jilly found at the thrift store and hung them on the wall. Jilly also found some candle holders that we hung up and we both painted the letters of your name (bright red!) and put them above your crib! Mommy's first baby blanket and rocking chair are in your room, along with one of my first baby dolls! Your closet if fully stocked with adorable dresses and your dresser drawers are over flowing with girly sleepers and onesies!! We are so ready to welcome you, sweetheart!!

You have been full of surprises, little girl, from day one! Starting with the intital shock that you were growing inside mommy, then finding out you were a GIRL, then finding out that my pregnancy was not going as smoothly as your brothers. A few concerns came up (my cervix was short....not that I expect you to understand what that is... google it when you are older) and I had to start seeing a specialist. To make a long story short, I had to have a little surgery (a cerclage..... again, google it) and then was put on bed rest. That was tough.... but it all was worth it when (after a few weeks) things with my cervix looked better and more normal and we all could breath a sign of relief.

I already have so many hopes and dreams for you, Cece. But, please don't feel pressured to accomplish all (if any) of these things! I know that you are your own person, with your own mind, and as you grow older you will form your own hopes and dreams..... but for now, just let Mom wish, ok?

~I want you to be come a professional ballerina and preform (one day) in a Broadway show. (Perferably "Cats", "Chicago", or "Rent")
~I want you to be sweet, cute, and polite your entire life! (which means: no swearing, no rolling your eyes, no sucking your teeth, no bare midriff's, no back-talk or sass, no piercings, no tattoos (at least where Dad and I can see.... what we don't know won't hurt us I guess),  no mug shots, and no taking the Lord's name in vain.)
~ I would LOVE it if you were on the cheerleading squad or dance team.
~ I would equally LOVE it if you were the star (or at least a member) of some type of sport. Mainly because I NEVER was! (volleyball, basketball, track, golf, soccer, softball, ect..)
~ I want you to love to read.
~I want you to excel in school, but I will NEVER expect perfection.
~ I want you to help me cook and bake.
~I want you to love to shop, get your nails done, and accessorize!
~I want your faith in God to be visible to others.
~ I want you to have good friends who Dad and I trust, like, and approve of.
~ I want to be able to experiment with your hair.
~ I want you to never know a day when your ears were not pierced.
~I want to always be your mom first and your friend last.
~I want you to know that I will NEVER care how popular you are. Ever.
~ I want you to love sweets (like ice cream and cheese cake) like I do.
~I want you to go to prom...whether you have a date or not.
~ I want you to believe in Santa until...... forever.
~ I want you to look up to your brother, love him, respect him, and always be there for him.
~ I want you to always be a honest person and know that there is never anything you can't tell Dad and I.
~ I want you to love carrying purses, wearing high heels, and playing dress up!
~ I want you to always strive to make your dad and I proud.

Bottom line, baby, I want you to live an incredibly happy life and I promise to help you full fill all your dreams! (or at least try my VERY best!)

At this point in time (July 4th, 2012) you should be here in a few weeks. I am so ready for you! Your kitty cat suitcase is all packed and I am working on getting my bags packed. Nonnie and Grandma and grandpa are "on call" and will be here as soon as they know you are ready to be born!

Leo doesn't really understand what's about to happen or realize that his world is about to get turned upside down. He is currently 16 months old and is totally focused on giving up his bottle, controlling his temper, and playing with bubbles and reading books. He will come around..... I do think it's cool that he will never know what it's like to not have you around.

So for now, I (we) will just wait on you, sweetie. Whenever you are ready, we will be here to welcome you! I love you more than you will ever know and you will forever and ever be our little girl!

Love, Mommy