Just Like Me.

Cece......is just like me......
Her sweet tooth
Her willingness to try any food item at least once. (and usually likes it)
Her excitement for "dinner time!"
Her constant smile
Her round face
Her love for gift giving
Her bossy-ness
How she loves to please people
Her terrible ability to lie
Sweet as pie, but can be mean as a snake
She's a Leo
Her obsession with make-up, perfume, finger "paint polish", high heels, and jewelry
Her love for sleep and ability to never fight it
How she hates to race.... or compete....
Her love of dance (ballet) and preforming
Her love for female singers who can really belt out a good tune
Her love for puppies and kitties
Her desire for acceptance
How easily she gets her feelings hurt
Her 'tude and how she pops her hip out to the side when she stands
When she grunts and sighs when shes annoyed
Her easy personality and how easy it is to please her
Her constant need to tell people she loves them
Her fear of people dying
When she knows she did something bad, but tries to pretend likes "its all good"
Her fear of spiders and bees
Her lack of balance
Her detest of the movie "Fox and the Hound" and "Dumbo"
Her desire to be included
Her long fingers
Her constant talking and chattering
Her enjoyment of looking at herself in a mirror
Her love of baby dolls
Her lack of interest in playing outside when its too hot or too cold
Her constant want for a snack

Leo..... is just like me......
His love for Christmas
His excitement for birthdays
His affection
Obsession for TV
His chubby cheeks
His love of God and uncertainty of Heaven
His love of the Hulk
His dred of school work
His abundance of sympathy
His love for gift giving
His ability to play with anyone
His uncanny ability to get whatever he wants
His lack of shyness
His questions about God
His humor.... at age 4 is already dry and sarcastic
His desire to be the center of attention
His need to want to make people laugh
His 2,000 facial expressions
Sweet as pie, but can be mean as a snake
His interest in gross, slimy, scary things
His cubby feet
His hair color
His excitement for hotels and slumber parties
How he is very understanding
His constant want for a snack
His love of milk
His ability to "not hear you" at certain times
His name is "Leo" and my horoscope is too
Love of surprises and rewards

It's Just Business. Or is it?

Disclaimer: I apologize in advance if anyone feels like I am targeting them specifically. I am not focusing on any one person in general.... more of a mix of people throughout the last few years.

For the past 3 years, I've owned my own business.

For anyone who has ever owned their own business, then they know what a giant leap of faith it is to fully make THAT kind of commitment.

For anyone who has never owned their own business, they have no idea how much of a giant of faith it is to make THAT kind of commitment.

It took me a while to decide to start "selling Premier".

I have worn Premier Designs Jewelry for years and have always (and still do!)  LOVED their jewelry.

In 2013, I was in a stage of my life where I needed an income.

Toby and I had just (suddenly) made a HUGE life change and moved our family of 4 to OH from SC. We had no house and no jobs, but we moved anyway. (it was one of the best decisions we have ever made... by the way.... and I don't regret it for a second!)

At that point in my life I was forced to substitute teach for the remainder of the 2013-2014 school year. As a 12 year veteran teacher, subbing was NOT something that I was excited to do.

AT ALL.

So, since my income drastically plummeted and my passion for my job was at an all-time low, I desperately needed something to keep me occupied (and financially stable) until the next school year.

Premier Designs it was.

 God sent me what I had been asking Him for. He sent me an answer.  Premier was my answer.

First off....  let me mention that I ADORE this company!

Premier Designs is founded on strong Christian values and morals and they are AMAZING to work with!

My goals of being financially stable and emotionally happy and satisfied with my "job" had been filled......... until I could get back into a classroom.

I've been involved with Premier for 3 years now and I have made well over $5,000 in EXTRA money and have been able to donate over $2,000 to various groups, charities', and families in need.

Complain I cannot.

 I have meet some amazing people who I never would have had the opportunity of meeting, if it were not for my involvement in Premier.

I have realized things about myself that I have learned to love.....

 I have so much more confidence in myself (physically and professionally), I can communicate with people better, I have become more organized and driven, I have been proud of myself so many times, I have learned to take more time in my appearance and I have a new passion for accessorizing!

 I have found complete joy and bliss in giving people things  and getting absolutely nothing in return.

 My relationship with God has strengthened and grown in ways I never would have imagined.

Premier Designs has done amazing things for me.... but sometimes I really regret taking that "giant leap of faith"...... and let me tell you why.

Sidenote:  I'm not a "quitter" or a "failure". I'm CONSIDERING not renewing with Premier after 3 years,  but not because I wasn't successful.

Don't get it twisted.

I was (am) very successful at creating my business. I made (am making)  money. I was (am)  good at it. When I put my mind to something, I do it and do it well. I started this business and I made it work.

In fact... I could have really taken my business farther than I ever imagined.... I had PLEN TY of opportunities to expand... but I choose not to. 

Just want to put that on the table.

The reason I am considering "hanging it up" concerning my jewelry business is because, even though this experience has taught me amazing things, overall, it has also taught me things that disturb me to my core.

Since starting this business, I have seen sides of people that I never knew existed. Sides of people who are very close to me......very close.  Not strangers..... serious, lifelong acquaintances.

Since starting this business, A LOT of my relationships with A LOT of people have REALLY changed.  Some of these people have no idea or are totally unaware that our relationship has changed... but it has. My eyes have really been opened to the harsh reality of where I stand with people and I've come to realize that I am not as important to certain people as I thought I was.

This is a heart breaking feeling.

If you've ever experienced this you know what I'm talking about.

There are people in my life who I honestly thought would "walk through fire" for me.

People who I thought would "have my back", "support me through thick and thin", "be there for me", and "do whatever they could to help". 

Come to find out, some people really won't.

I guess you could say that maybe I took myself too seriously. Maybe I thought too much of myself to think that certain people would  "do anything" for me.

 I guess now I know, huh?

Getting started in this business (in ANY business) is the hardest part.  Its also the most important part. You need help. You need support. You need to be built up and encouraged and you need your ego stroked.  (FYI..... NONE of these things involve spending ANY money!)

Since my career with Premier is as successful as it is, its safe to say that I had a great start!

 I had awesome support, guidance,  and encouragement! I had people who were my biggest cheerleaders and who helped boost my confidence when it was getting low! I had people reach out to me and ask  "what can I do to help?". I had people step out of their comfort zone... for me!

These people.......... Jean O., Jill O., Katie P, Jean R. , Laura R.,  Becky R., Ginger, Tabby, Ashley R., Cathy W., Leslie T., Becca S.........what they did for me concerning by business is just plain awesome.

 I don't know if they realize how much they helped me when I needed it or how much it meant to me that they said "yes" when I asked for their support.

To all of you listed above... THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for doing what you did. I appreciate you more than you will ever know.

Unfortunately there are some names  that I totally assumed would be there and were not.

"Do you think you can help me get a running start with my new business and invite a few girls over so I can practice giving an official show??" was a question I asked my closest friends and family in the beginning.

People who I (thought) I'd be comfortable speaking in front of and wanted to see me and this business succeed.

Some people bluntly and without hesitation said "no".

Some people said "yeah sure! whatever you need!"... then avoided me like the plague.

 

Some people ignored the sh*t outta me. (that one hurts the most)

Surprisingly, a handful of my biggest supporters were people who came outta nowhere.

One girl, who instantly agreed (without hesitation) to be one of my very first shows, was a previous student from 2002! I taught her when she was a little 7th grader and here she was.... coming out of no where, offering me her living room and a few of her friends to listen to my "jewelry speech".

That's all it took. A couple hours and a couple friends.

From her show alone, I was able to fill up my entire summer with shows..... one booking led to another, then other, than another.......  Funny isn't it?

She probably had no idea how much she meant to me during that time. And still does. Thank- you, Tabby! You're sweet girl! (and eventually Nikki and Kayla!)

Anyway.... I've never felt more ignored or unimportant in my life.  My feeling were seriously hurt from day 1.

Yes I was (am) successful.
Yes I met my personal goals.
Yes I love doing it and have fun at the same time.

 But is it really worth the pain and disappointment and hurt I feel in my gut toward people  who I thought honestly cared about me? Not so sure...

I just don't think I can be ignored by people anymore. Ignored specifically by people who I'd least expect to ignore me.

I don't want to feel annoying to people anymore. I feel like these people ignore me because they are annoyed by me. That doesn't feel good.

Am I going to miss the extra "fun money" that Premier provided me with? Am I going to really miss donating my profits to people and groups who need it more than me? Am I going to miss meeting really cool women? Am I going to miss the challenge that having my own business presents me? Am I going to miss the extra confidence boost I get from this business? Am I going to miss working with all the amazing, God-sent people, who I have been blessed to know through this business?

Most defiantly.

But, I want this feeling in my gut and in my heart to stop.

 I'm tired of getting my feelings hurt by people who are important to me.

I'm tired of the rejection.

 I'm tired of sending messages to 68 people and having not one single person respond. That hurts.

 I'm tired of sending out a mass text message to 35  PERSONAL contacts and having everyone but 3 people completely and totally ignore me.... like I never sent it

I'm tired of planning events and sending out invitations only to be waiting for someone, anyone, to show up.

If people are not interested in what I'm selling or not interested in attending an event or simply cannot attend due to prior commitments..... I'm fine with that. I understand that.  People are busy, people are broke, people just aren't into jewelry. I totally get it.

But, what I don't understand is brushing me off like I don't matter.

Ignoring my messages, invites, and letters.

Maybe it's just simple etiquette.... maybe people just aren't as polite as I thought they were.

Maybe.

The phrase "every man for himself" makes sense to me now.

Am I mad about it?

 No. "Mad" may not be the correct term to use...... I've learned a lot, that's for sure.

 I guess I'm thankful to know where I really stand with people.

I'm still unsure if I am re-newing with Premier or not.

 I have til April to decide.

But, I'm tired of these feelings that I've been feeling and if Dr. Phil were to ask me, "How's it workin for ya?" I'd have to respond with.... it's not.

I may be ending the "personal business" chapter of my life.

Not because the sales business is not my thing..... because I really am a good sales gal. I love sales and I love jewelry and I love socializing. I love this business and the company that runs it. I may be ending this chapter cause I can't get over certain things that happened early on in my "jewelry career". I cant get past the rejection that comes with this "job". Maybe I'm taking things way too personally..... I'm sure I am......... but it's the way I feel.

Maybe this was God's way of showing me peoples "true colors"?

Mission complete, God.  I see it now. It may have hurt and it may be sad.... but I know now. And I'm glad I do.

The Struggle is REAL

Depression.

It exists.

Not for everyone.... lucky a$$holes.

I think everyone who experiences depression of some sort, experiences it differently than others.

I also think that depression runs in families.

I also think that TONS of people are in denial about having/experiencing depression.

Depression for me comes in waves. I never really experienced depression until I had kids. Post-pardum depression hit me like a mac truck. It hit me so hard I didn't even know what was happening.

 What happened? Well.... I just cried. and cried. and cried. Why? No clue. Probably because I had just brought a brand new human into my life and it was much more than a dog. I guess the responsibility and change overwhelmed me. I've said this before.... but the second Leo was born....everything changed.

I feel like when you know something is wrong, you need to acknowledge it and fix it.

That's exactly what I did.

I did not, for one second, try to hide the fact that I was feeling like this. I don't know why some people do. I didn't like feeling like that.... plain and simple,,,,,, so no way in hell was I going to continue to live like that. I told Toby to call my doctor and he did. WHy didn't I call the doctor myself? I honestly couldn't speak. Cause I was crying. Ridiculous and beyond my control. I got medicine and within a few days.... I honestly felt back to my old self.

Its amazing.

After that, things were seriously fine. We sdjusted to parenthood fine and life rolled on. Then we welcomed Cece and I was able to totally avoid postpardum this time around.

But, just because I was not on medicine and just because I hadn't experienced "those feelings" in a long time.... didn't mean I was "cured".

I don't think anyone can be cured of depression.

My depression came back in waves.

 I know when it hits me when:
1.  I get very tired. All I want to do it lay in bed and sleep., Yet..... I cant fall asleep. My body is tired, my eyes are tired, my mind is tired.... yet sleep is impossible to get.
2.   house starts to slowly fall apart or I get behind on laundry or housework.  The dishes pile up, nothing gets picked up, the beds do not get made.... these are all things that I normally keep up on. Sometimes when we just have a busy week and I honestly just don't have a chance to get things done, all of the above can actually lead to depression, not happen because of it. Thankfully I have a mother-in-law that helps me with this. God bless her soul.
3. being silent is soooooooooooo much easier than talking.
4.   I eat like psyco. Like digusting. Junk food that I don't even like.... I can't get enough of it. I once ate an entire pack of Oreos in 2 days and on entire gallon of Greek Frozen Yogurt in 2 days. Sick. Which then leads me to feeling guilty. And chubby. And weak. And crazy.

Being in a depression dosent mean that I hate everyone or am angry at the world. In fact, when I am in this certain state of mind I have no feelings at all. Someone could die and it would be impossible for me to squeeze out a tear. My emotions are abset and I'm just....... there........ feeling nothing.  It sucks.

When I'm depressed it dosent mean that I'm ungrateful or spoiled or am "pouting" because I didn't get something I wanted. Those things don't even cross my mind.

Something can push me into a depression..... a death, a change in routine or schedule, an unexpected event (positive or negative), an upcoming event (positive or negative), or absolutely nothing at all.

When I get depressed I become very lazy. I'm not depressed because I am lazy. And when I'm being lazy I'm totally aware of it. and I hate it.

I'm completely aware of the fact that depression is a chemical imbalance of the brain and I have no control when it hits me or not.

Medicine helps, but doesn't make it go away. When a wave of depression hits me or I feel lurking in the shadows like a creepy stalker, I usually just give in to it. I know it wont last long (cause I take medicine) and I use it as a chance for my body and brain to tell me to re-effing-lax. I use it as a couple days to "take a time out" from life to get back in gear. I handle it.

I know it's OK to have moments when my depression gets the best of me and I'm educated enough to know that it dosent mean I am a weak person, lazy, dramatic, or crazy in general. I am only those things for a few days or so. lol

 I have no problem admitting I take anti-depressants. In fact, I feel stronger admitting it.

A weak person would refuse medicine.

Some people are not educated about it and therefore are ignorant a$$holes who need to practice grace and acceptance.
Here's some bonus points for "being me"........ sometimes when I'm depressed, its not cause I'm sad or "blue".... sometimes I get overly excited or happy and it causes me to do things that are not normal.

I'll make soooooo many plans with people that there is no way I have time for them all and will end up cancelling almost everytime.

Sometimes I will be overly affectionate or treat people like they are my BFF, when in reality I barely know them.

Overall, the struggle IS real. Its MY struggle. I love the fact that I can deal with it and live my life in spite of it. I hate when people "put up with" depression. They ignore it or let it win. They give in and waste their lives being miserable.

If you are depressed or think you may be depressed...... get over yourself and go to your doctor. Fix it and stop wasting life.

Handle it. Get control of it.

You get ONE life,. Don't live it like a depressed sack of shit. (was that harsh?) That's what I tell myself anyway. And it works.

As Olivia Pope would say...... "It's handled".

In 'dis house

I love these signs....

I remember when I first saw one of these. My first impression was "awe! so sweet!"  They became pretty popular and though I never bought one, I always wanted to. I love them, their message, and what they stand for.

I also love the "dream" that it paints.......

Wouldn't it be amazing if these things DID happen in "our house"?

Isn't this what most families aim for? A household that says "Im sorry", "prays together", "helps each other", "laughs together", "forgives" and "tells the truth"

But, when you really think about it... isn't this portrayal of a household slightly................

HILARIOUS?

Why isn't there a sign like this....

In this house....
We fight, verbally and physically
We slam doors and spit on each other
We say "youre not my best friend anymore" and "youre annoying"
We hug each other only when forced to or when we can cop a quick feel
We have royal screw-ups and make each other cry
We are messy slobs
We swear out loud and under our breath
Our beds are un-made, the floor is sticky, our washcloths smell musty, and the trash is overflowing.

In this house we are lazy and we watch TV shows about committing murder and a talking monkey
We eat chocolate chips for breakfast and cottage cheese for dinner
We skip bath time simply because we are too tired to bathe
We push each other, trip each other, smack each other,  scare each other on purpose, and tickle each other til someone gets kicked in the face
We laugh at each other when we make mistakes and call each other degrading names, like poopy-butt, nut-job, dirtbag, and asshole
We drink too much alcohol on school nights and go to bed too late
Our iPad's and iphone's demand most of our love and affection and usually get it before anyone else
We read "Hoofbeats", "OK!", and ""Mad" magazine instead of storybooks with happy endings
We all fall asleep in the same bed, but wake up in different ones
We over-fill the washer and sometimes sleep with the front door wide-ass open unlocked

In this house our dog sometimes goes without food and leaves "surprises" for us on the floor

In this house we ignore the dog surprises and wait for someone else to clean it up
We lie through our teeth and keep dirty little secrets
We have nightmare's instead of dreams and we carry grudges
We sometimes forget to brush our teeth, wear mis-matched socks with holes, and our feet stink.

In this house we love each other so damn much and would freakin' die if anything happened to one of us.

Isn't that a little more like your house?

No? Just mine? Ok then. So be it.

Christmas 2015

This Christmas is special. Not that it's not always special... but this year it's a different special.

This is the FIRST CHRISTMAS in Toby and I's relationship (married 8, together 2) that we will be in OUR home on Christmas morning!

It's thrilling and when I "realized" it, it made me feel like a kid again!

But, also, I already feel like a kid again! I am totally living through my kids right now! I am sooooooooo excited for Santa to come! Eek!! We are gonna leave cookies and milk, and make reindeer food, and make santa bootprints,and bake cookies, and drive around and look at lights, and get up at 4am, and I just might wear a Santa hat while I'm setting presents out. Maybe.

This year has been a lot of fun! Our elf, "Cecil" is back! We read the story on Thanksgiving night and the next morning, there he was on the living room shelf. Cece is still a little hesitant, but she is warming up. Leo doesn't seem to care if Cecil sees him throwing a fit or not. But, he loves to hunt for him in the morning. Toby and I have been really good at remembering to move him. Cecil has been really good at re-locating himself all around the house. On top of the kitchen light, in Cece's room, in Leo's room, sitting with Joseph and Mary in the stable, on the mantle, on the knife butcher block, on top of the coat tree. That little spit-fire is everywhere!!

And...no. I don't get extra creative with the elf. I wish I could tell you that I was "that person" who stages hilarious scenes for our elf..... but dangit if I can't remember to move that dang thing every night, let alone construct a brilliantly staged scene. And I don't want to clean up the mess.

You wanna know what I really love? What really "melts my butter" as Truvy would say. Ya wanna know what makes me wink seductively at Toby and walk past him in the hallway and squeeze his bum? You wanna know?

I LOVE when Toby moves the elf.

 It turns me on.

I think it is so sweet that when I forget, he's got my back. He will be damned if he's gonna let the kids wake up and see the elf in the same place as yesterday. He also thinks of creative places too. Who knew? Anyway..... I think it's adorable. 

My how our love life has changed.....

The kid's Christmas lists are fun this year! Here are the requests for 2015.....

Leo- " 'mote" control car and a police car
Cece- purple "mote" control car, make-up, eyeshadow, lipstick, teddy bear

So Santa listened...,.. Leo will get his (2) requests and Cece will get hers as well. The purple "mote" control car was a last minute addition and was a little tricky to find! But I did it! It is being shipped from China today! Not kidding. Straight up serious. I'm expecting it Christmas Eve.

Obviously, I added a few items to their stock piles lists.

Leo will also be receiving some soccer shin guards, soccer socks, a 100 pack of cars, bedtime book, a flying helicopter, a train table, Hungry Hungry Hippos, flashcards,  Chapstick, "Engine Turtles" movie, a car track, a TV chair, a punching bag and gloves, ear buds, PJs, socks,  a soccer ball, and an Olaf costume

Cece will also be receiving an Elsa costume, a shit ton a bunch of make up, earrings and necklace, "Frozen" jenga, bedtime book, a life "size doll, "Cinderella" and "Sleeping Beauty" movie, Elsa wig, hair accessories, a game (I forget which one! Connect Four?), PJ's, socks,  a TV chair, and ear buds.

Toby and I had about a 37 minute conversation about how we are gonna set out presents. Who will do it? When to do it? How to do it? 

We've never done it before, remember.....

After several fights it was decided that I will set gifts out. I will do it as soon as Leo is asleep. (Cece will already be asleep. In her own bed. Count on it. She's the easy one. Toby will have to lay with Leo, probably in our bed. ) I will bring all presents up and down the basement stairs. (not my idea... but I gave up.) Falling, making a loud ruckus, and breaking something is a HUGE possibility.... but Toby insisted.

So, this Christmas is one that I will always remember. I will always remember waking up in our own home on Christmas morning for the first time. I hope it's snowing! That will just be perfect! It will feel just like Bedford Falls!!

Room for 5?

So one of my BFF's mentioned something the other day in a group text.

Let me talk about "group texting" for just a minute..... I love it. I love how everyone can chime in with their "piece" of conversation, cause everyone to smile or giggle a bit, and continue about their day. I love it because for that moment, everyone knows that they were thought of that day. Its a good feeling. My (5) best friends from High School and I have a constant group text going on. We may talk to each other (1) time a week or (3) times a week or (2) times a month..... but it keeps our relationships updated and current. We are all stupid busy, living our own lives, raising our kids, doing our jobs, maintaining relationship with other friends.... but we are still involved with each other. Maybe not constantly.... maybe not physically..... but involved nonetheless. And that's better (to me) than nothing,

Ok, moving on

Laura mentioned that when we are all old and senile that we should think about all staying in the same nursing home.

I know that it was ment to put a smile on our faces and to let us know that she was thinking of us.... but in all seriousness.... that is a FANTASTIC IDEA!

Let me tell you why.....


Think about it... I'm really kinda shocked more elderly people don't do this.

It's 2060.

Unfortunatly, all (5) of ouir husbands would have to pass away before us.... leaving us all widows.

Once we all are old, alone, and grieving..... that is when we all plan to "move in together".

Thankfully, someone (probably Laura, since it was her idea) called the nursing home (the BEST nursing home) and reserved us all rooms about 5 years ago so we were all guaranteed to "get in".

I'm sure nursing homes (especially "the best" one) have a waiting list, right?

Anyway.... since we all have a room waiting for us..... we pick a moving day.

We won't have a lot to move, cause at that point in our lives, nothing really is necessary anymore except out "treasures" and memories.

So we move in and there you have it. Roomates. For the rest of our lives. 5yrs? 8yrs?

We will eat all our meals together and gossip about all the good looking men who also live in the nursing home. Jayme will probably be "dating" one of them by the second week.

We will sit together in "the living room" or in someones room and talk, knit, play  strip poker, drink wine, listen to Jayme's make-out stories with the handsome widower in room 132, talk about our grandkids and how our kids are "doing parenting all wrong". We would watch as much Netflix as we want and follow about 5 series. Some of them will even be dirty.

None of us will be sick or suffering from any illness. One of us may have shingles. One of us may have a new hip. One of us may walk with a cane due to all the years of abusing their bodies at F45 gym, holding back the puke during every workout. One of us may be a permanate hunchback. But we will all be alive and kickin.

Think about it... the rest of our lives to just...... be.

No bills to worry about. No jobs to stress about or be at. No kids to look after. No husband to take care of. No pressure to "keep up with the reast of the world".

All the time in the world to be with each other.....people who we have known our entire lives. All the times in the world to to whatever the hell we wanna do. Happy Hour every day in Kelly's room at 3pm? Why the hell not! Online shopping, spending money like it grows on trees? Sure! Eating chips, doughnuts, chocolate, and ice cream guilt free and not giving one rats ass about how much we weigh? Sign me up.  4 naps a day? Uh... yeah!

Everyday is a party.
Everyday is full of inside jokes and laughter.
Everyday is spent comfortable and relaxed and stress free.
Everyday will be spent with the 5 most important people (that are left) in our lives.... ...each other.

Our kids and grandkids will come to visit us allllllll the time.

Leo, Cece, James, Franklin, Ella, Kelsey, Lydia, Tyler, Josie, Addie, Reece, Emmit, and Grahm will all be like family to each other and all their kids will play together.

When they come to visit us, we need to reserve the banquet room at the nursing home since there are so many people there.

Does that not sound A-mazing?

Why don't more people do this? Seriously..... Why do some people chose to live the last 5-10 years of their life alone and relying on other people to take care of them?

Yes, I realize that some circumstances will require different situations..... and obviously this is a "dream", cause I'm sure in reality I promise that many sticks will get throw in the wheels of this plan and what I imagined will be, will be very, very different from what God has in store for us. In fact... I honestly think I hear him laughing.

Anyway,,.. its a nice thought.

When Laura brought it up, it made me smile. Gosh I love these girls... these girls who have been MY FRIEND since I was 13. Girls who have ALWAYS accepted me for who I am/was. Wether I was annoying, needy, weepy, depressed, fat, skinny, too hyper, bitchy, self-ritghous, local, or out of state. They love me still. They take me for who I am and vice versa.

I mean, damnit.... staying friends with Angie is effin hard.... she's bat-shit crazy..... but we all still accept her.  Wink and gun.

That's what I love the most. I'm really looking forward to the last few years of my life. If all goes "as planned", sounds like it will be grand!

 

The Gang  in 1997 and 2015

 

 

 

Laura and Jess in 2060

Angie in 2060

 

Kelly in 2060

 

 

Jayme in 2060

 

 

 

Like a brick wall.

So lately I've been doing some weird shiz.

Like, weird-er than normal. Which is effin scary. I mean, Im even freaking myself out. I normally laugh at my stupidity, because my sense of humor allows me o do things like that, but lately... these matters are nothing to laugh about. It's getting serious, folks. Like... I may need a CT scan or I need to change my name to Sybil. One or the other....

My recent actions that make me think WTF....

1. I went to pick the kids up from school the other day.... Wednesday.

They don't go to school on Wednesday's.

Let me repeat..... I. went. to. pick. the. kids. up. from. someplace. they. were. not. at.

 The sad part..... It honestly took me a total of about 10 minutes to realize THEY WERE NOT THERE.

It wasn't until one of the teachers says to me, "It's Wednesday."

"Yeah.........and?"

Then it hit me.

like a brick wall.

omg.

OMG.

The look the lady gave me immediately made me hear the "psyco" theme song in the background.

I'm sure when I walked out the door...... with no children....  people were concerned.

 I know I was.

 I didn't even tell my mother-in-law what I had done.

 I mean.... I was practically 30 min late coming hope than my normal arrival time. No big deal. Nothing to see here.

2. Speaking of my mother-in-law, I needed a huge favor from her the other day.

 I texted her about 8:15am and said, "Can you do me a huge favor?"

She immediately responded with "Sure!" (as usual! Bless her!)

 I said.... "Brace yourself..... I need you to bring me a bra."

 I them proceeded to explain to her that I had worn a black bra to school and did not realize that the top I was wearing was totally and completely see-through.

 I didn't realize it until the morning bell rang and I was walking toward the full-length mirror in my classroom and it me.... you guessed it.... like a cottin'pickin' brick wall.

 I was a paranoid freak the rest of period 1.... feeling like a $2 whore who lost her pole.

3. It took me about 35 minutes to drive to work the other day.

 Normally it takes me about 10.

Why did it take 35 you ask?

 Well, the brick wall didn't hit me until I was out by Walmart (the complete OPPOSITE end of town), that I was going the completely wrong direction.



4. The CVS drive thru in Celina is s-l-oooooo-w.

I don't know why, but they are.

Always.

 Anyway, after Cece's dance lesson I swung through to pick up my 24th round of antibiotics for a sinus infection that I've had since 3rd grade.

I knew I'd have to wait because I always have to wait..... and because the drive thru line was 7 cars deep. O'well, I honestly didn't mind. Cece was in the back seat watching Dora, reciting the Spanish word for "broccoli" and seemed perfectly content.

 I was exhausted and didn't mind the break from having to do anything constructive. So I browsed my phone.

About 25 minutes later I finally got up to window......

and I drove right on through.

The lady at the window looked like a spectator at the Daytona 500....her head followed me from the right alllll the way through to the left.

 I avoid all eye contact and kept my eyes to the front. I had both hands gripped tightly on the wheel at 10 and 2 and my posture was straight and stiff.

Why did I breeze through the drive thru like a fart in the wind?

 Cause it took about that long for that brick wall to smack me in the face and remind me that I DIDNT HAVE MY PURSE.

omg.

OMG!?!?!


5.  Speaking of drive thru's...... have you even went through the drive thru at a fast food place, got up to the window, looked at the teenager working at the window with a blank stare, and tell him, "Uh... I forgot to place my order."

No?

Just me?

Ok then.....

Sweet Jesus Mary..... someone gimme a nap.