I'm still recovering.
I didn't train.... at all.,... and that is defiantly in the "TOP 3 stupidest things I've ever done in my life" list!
(the other 2 things involve a tarzan rope, country concert, and a hammer.)
One of the best lessons I learned from completing this half marathon is this:
"Always train for a half marathon."
Profound, I know.
My body is so pissed at me right now and I don't blame it. I put it through hell and back.
Around mile 9 I started to re-consider even attempting the half marathon..... but then realized that option had already come and gone and here I was out in the middle of a corn field surrounded road, staring at road kill up close and personal.
A rabbit? Maybe.
My left foot started hurting around mile 2, but that was because my sock had scooted down a bit and the back of my shoe was rubbing against my Akeley's tendon.
I put up with it for a few more miles and then I eventually just stopped dead in my tracks, yanked my sock up, rolled my eyes, and continued on my merry way...... what a waste of 30 seconds.
Sidenote: waiting until mile 5 to pull up my sock was really dumb. Now I've got an annoying broken blister that hurts anytime something touches it. Water, a sock, a shoe, a dog's lick, a toddler's finger, air.... Anyway- it could have been prevented. Moving on...
Other than my sock issue, I felt good. I started off with a 5 min warm up and after that I started into the interval I thought would be an easy, leisurely pace.... 2 minute run, 3 minute walk, 2 minute run, 3 minute walk, 2 minute run, 3 minute walk.... for 13.1 miles.
Let me back up and talk about my 5 minute warm up just for a second...
I ALWAYS start with a warm up.
Always.
It's hard to keep your composure when literally EVERYONE starts off in a dead sprint as soon as the gun fires. It's so dang intimidating! It's almost like the Black Friday rush, but not as bad. Any race that I'm in... 5K, 10K, half marathon..... they always start the same. Everyone bolting and leaving a cloud of dust behind them.
And then there is me.
I take the slow and steady mindset. I like to start out walking. Yeah, I may be behind in the beginning.... or dead last... but as soon as my warm up is over, I start into my running interval and that's when I breeze past all the others who decided to sprint the first 1/2 mile.
Suckers.
Anyway, there is always "the guy".
"The guy" at the beginning of EVERY RACE I've ever participated in.
"The guy" who is not running, but is on the outside of the race barriers, watching.
"The guy" who always has a smartass comment. THE EXACT SAME smartass comment everytime.
"The guy" who says this.....
"You're walking already?!?! haha"
It reminds me of the looney toon character that says, "Duhhhhhh which way did he go, George? Which way did he go?"
Dumbass.
Eventually, I started hurting. I felt good stamina wise, but my legs started getting stiff and my muscles started tightening up. At mile 9.
So, long story short, after the pain set in and I finally came to the conclusion that I should have trained..... I just tried my best to stay on my interval and "just keep swimming" as Dorie would say.
There were a few
How did I manage to make it?
I played a little game.....
Starting at mile marker 9 I needed to take my mind off my misery and I needed to stop thinking about how much worse it was gonna get.... I needed to move away from suicidal thoughts and move more towards something positive.
I told myself that at every mile marker, I was gonna focus my thoughts on (1) thing.
(1) person.
(1) place.
(1) event,
I was running about a 13 min mile at this point (don't judge), so I promised myself that for the next (4) miles I was gonna focus on only (4) specific topics.
Mile marker 9 topic: DAD
Always an easy topic to think about.
I started recalling memories from the Lake and family beach trips to Daytona . I started to think about how he looked, when he would sit and wait for my mom, sister and I to finish shopping, at the hot dog stand in the Lima Mall reading a book. How he smelled (eternity for men), the sound of his laugh, how soft his hair always was in the back, how he loved his Dt. Pepsi caffeine free, and the sound of his walk.
I started to think.... "What he would he think if he saw me participating in a half marathon?"
From a Dr.'s point of view, he always hated the sport of running and always said it was "the worst thing someone could do to their body",
but aside from that... I was wondering if he MIGHT be proud of me..... or if he would just laugh at me and shake his head.
While in the middle of mile 9, Allen Jackson and Jimmy Buffett, "Margaritaville", came on Pandora.
My dad loved Jimmy Buffett.
I thought that was cool.
As I was recalling specific memories of Dad, trying to keep my mind off the constant screaming of profanities that my body was shouting at me, I saw something......
An old man. Heavy set. White hair and glasses. A big belly with suspenders. A walker.
He was standing all by himself. No other on-lookers around. No other runner's family members around cheering them on. He was literally standing by himself.
As I skated past him, I thought in the back of my mind how he "kinda" resembled Dad. Not exactly... but a little.
The belly.
The glasses.
The walker (Dad had a wheelchair).
Dad didn't have white hair, but I bet if he was still alive today his hair would be close to all gray.
Then the old man gave me a "thumbs up" sign.
And nooded his head.
And gave me a slight smile.
My dad wasn't a big "thumbs up" guy...... but for some reason I feel that this old man was answering the question that I had running through my head at that time.... "Would Dad be proud of me?"
I think maybe.
Mile marker 10 topic: Memories that always make me LOL
There are those moments that ALWAYS make me start giggling to myself or make me laugh out loud whenever I think about them. These are my "go to" memories always guaranteed to give me a chuckle or full blown burst of laughter!
1. Remembering the time my friend, Katie, rode her bike into a tree.
2. A student saying "shut up, dirtbag" and me telling my sister about how the word
"dirtbag" is so weird and how we laughed so hard for hours!
3. When my mom tried to turn the car around.....in the garage....with the garage doors down. Hilar.
4. When my sister -in-law and I were at TJ Maxx and she was going to buy a new winter coat. She ripped the tags off and couldn't wait to put it on! She did all this BEFORE the cashier told her that her debit card was not working....and she had to take the coat off and hand it back. I died. So funny.
5. That United Healthcare commercial where the couple is dancing to "The Time of my Life" from Dirty Dancing. Watch it HERE if you haven't seen it. You will die.
6. When Toby and I were lost in SC and were looking at an OHIO map for about 15 minutes to try to find our way around.
7. When my mom accidently took the gas pedal for the break and took us for a .4 second joy ride, darting down the driveway, going from 0 to 20mph, finally coming to a jerking hault. I'll never forget the look on her face, the look on my sister's face as she watched us pull a Jeff Gordan type maneuver in the driveway, and how hard mom and I laughed. Oh, and the black tire marks on the driveway, evidence of a near death experience.
8. When my friend, Angie, referred to my friend, Jayme's, vagina as "bat wings".
9. When my college roommate, Melanie, and I were honestly terrified when a giant cricket was walking across our family room carpet. I can still see her perched atop the couch with a pillow above her head and I can still feel the unbalance that I experienced while trying to stand on both arms of a rocking recliner.
10. When my friend, Maria, tried to kick her leg up in the air in order to get a small stretch in, while running in a half marathon. Her leg went about 3 millimeters in the air.
11. When my friend, Laurie, was running on the beach at night, trying to catch up with me and a few other girls, and face planted in the sand.
12. When I fell off my sister's bunk bed ladder in her dorm room and (almost) became paralyzed. (ok... twisted my ankle, but it hurt like a mother!)
13. When my mom said the word "Wombat"
14. When my 8th grade students were were all silent reading and the room was waaaaaaaaaayyyyyy too quiet and in a moment of insanity I screamed at the top of my lungs, "OHMYGOD! IT'S GEORGE CLOONEY!!" Their reaction = priceless.
15. The vision of my friend, Kerri, holding an umbrella that had been blown inside out, in the middle of a rainstorm, in Magic Kingdom.
16. The story my friend, Kris, told at lunch one day about how she was taking her son for a stroller ride and it suddenly started to down pour, so she hauled ass, pushing the stroller home, as fast as she could.... until she hit a crack in the sidewalk. The speeding stroller came to an abrupt stop, flipping over, catapulting her son, and landing upside down. Then her son said, "Mom!! I'm stuck!"
17. The night I waxed Toby's back with an at-home wax kit.
18. The night I attempted to use (of all things) nail polish remover to remove excess wax from Toby's back from an at-home wax kit.
19. When we were at my aunts house for a lunch, right after my Dad had died, and my sister's paper plate broke in half and all her food slopped to the floor. After all we had been through with Dad's death.... she whimpered a little bit, almost broke down crying, and instead we broke out in hilarious laughter.
Mile marker 11 topic: My mother-in-law
I initially was going to think about about Leo and Cece waiting for me at the finish line for this mile. I am always sooooo excited to see them whenever I finish a race. The excitement they show could put a smile on Wilford Brimley's face.
But then my mind started to wander to how it was even possible that Leo and Cece were there, at the finish line, to see me finish. How they got there.....
It's because of my mother-in-law.
Becky.
She makes sure that my kids are waiting for me at the finish line.
She also makes sure that she is waiting for me at the finish line.
She wouldn't miss it. This I know. Even if we didn't have kids..... I am confidant that she would still be there... waiting at the finish line..... arms flailing on the air so I can pick her out of the crowd..... waiting to hug me even though I smell terrible. (I swear I put on deodorant!)
She's amazing. I have never been more honest when I say, "I don't know what I'd do without her". The help she gives me with the kids, laundry, housework, dinner.... is all unbelievable, so much appreciated, and done out of the kindness of her heart (and her slight obsession with cleaning :) )
But besides that, she has become one of my best friends.
We eat dinner together, we shop together, we vacation together.
Whenever I want to do something I know that she will be my side-kick.
Shop, eat, see a movie, take the kids to the zoo, try a new diet, experiment with new foods, make green smoothies, a Pintrest craft, make up a new hip-hop dance to "Pump Up The Jam" in the middle of the living room... whatever it may be, I know Becky will always join me.
She supports me when I need it most, listens to me when I vent or ask questions, laughs with me at stupid things people do, and cries with me on the rare occasion when my anti-depressants allow me to show any type of emotion.
She was my business partner when I started my jewelry business. She watched and listened to me rehearse my "show" over and over again.
She even went with me to my first few shows to help me set up and simply because I asked her to.
She is never sick. Never tired. Never unwilling.
She lets Leo and Cece call her "moe moe" even though she hates that title.
She (without a doubt) will wash every single item of dirty cloths in my house ANYTIME she is present. NEVER is my hamper full when I get home after Becky has been at my house.
The kids toy room is always picked up and organized and the basement is too. Why? Not because I keep up with it. Because of Becky.
She helped me plant my first garden.
She helped me get started subbing for Mercer Co. Schools when we first moved back to Celina.
She helped find Leo and Cece their daycare.
And she introduced me to making mashed sweet potatoes in the microwave. (she knew people... "wink and gun" )
I love her. I rely on her. I need her.
What a blessing she is. And how lucky am I?
Mile marker 12 and 13 (both kinda a blur) topic: My reward
At this point my body hated me. I was being called every name in the book and I deserved every one.
Who runs 13 miles.....suddenly?
Without practice.
Without preparation.
Without the proper mindset.
Me. I do. This jughead.
What was I thinking?!?!
My calves were both on the verge of exploding into Charlie horses. My back was stiff. I had blisters forming on the bottom of my toes that I could feel with every step. My armpits were beginning to burn from the constant pumping of my arms against my sports bra. My hands were so swollen and my wedding ring was tight.
What got me through? What kept my spirits up and wouldn't allow me to decide not to fake passing out in order to get a ride up to the finish line?
A cold beer.
A Miller Light.
That was what I was thinking about.
Toby, the kids, and I were going to a get together later that evening at a friends house. A "post marathon" celebration. I was really looking forward to it for many reasons. It was the first time in a long time that Toby was able to join the kids and I in anything remotely fun. It was also the first time in a long time Toby and I were able to hang out together. I was anxious to hear how everyone did in the race and I was excited to meet new people that I knew would be there. There was also going to be pizza.
I contemplated if I wanted to drink Miller Light, wine, summer shanty, or straight rubbing alcohol.
Wine would normally be my drink of choice......cabernet savington blanc..... but at this moment, drinking a dry, blood colored, warm drink was not what I desired.
I'm normally not a beer person, but this time was different. I wasn't in my right mind.
So I endured. I continued on. I focused and concentrated on each step, I kept my feet moving because God forbid I stop (even for a second) I guarantee I wont be able to pick my feet up again.
I found it ironic that at this point I was running past a cemetery..... .
As I approached the finish line, the cold Miller Light was still on my mind.... until I saw them.
Moe-Moe
Leo
Cece
Standing there off to the left, waiting.
I immediately started flailing my arms and soon Moe-Moe returned the wave.
She got the kids attention, bent down and pointed toward me, and then I heard their squeals!
MOMMY!!!!
Cece so excited, her voice belting out the high pitched scream only Cece can produce.
They both came running toward me as fast as their toddler legs could go, Leo zipping past Cece, almost knocking her over, and seconds away from starting a fight....... and continued to run along side me until I crossed the finish line.
Finally. I could stop.
I felt 4 little hands wrap around my legs.
Leo asked me "Mommy, Did you win?"
To which I replied, "YES! I WON!"
and later that night, that beer tasted really good.
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