Showed up and Showed out.

This weekend, God really showed up and showed out in my life.

That is one of my favorite sayings from when we used to live in South Carolina.

"God showed up and showed out"

I remember hearing this phrase for the first time and thinking, "Wow. I like that. It makes sense to me."

Because I have a strong faith, I know that God is always present in my life.... always.... but sometimes it's hard to see, feel, or sense His presence.

But then there are times when His presence is not questionable! These are the times when he "shows up and shows out".  I experience this "showing out and showing up" twice last weekend.

Yesterday was a pretty normal Sunday for our family. We didn't have a lot planned and that was fantastic! By the time everyone got out of bed, we had decided that Leo and Toby were going to go to watch horse races in Delaware and Cece and I were going to spend the day together. Perfect!

As soon as this was decided, I looked at Cece and asked, "Do you want to go to church with me?"

Her eyes beamed at me and she squealed "YES!"

I was immediately excited for church. Normally, I am not. Normally I am stressed out, rushed, anxious, and hesitant.

To anyone who has ever had to get toddlers ready for church on Sunday morning, then I don't need to explain myself here.

But for those of you who are not yet blessed with this task, let me just tell you that sometimes it's easier to stay home.

For those of you who flawlessly get your children ready for church on Sunday morning, skip out the door, and drive off...... I envy you. I also question you.....

Anyway....

I was excited to go to church THIS morning, because I was only taking Cece.

Cece is my easy one.

 Cece is my "go with the flow", "Ill try anything", "I just want to be with mommmy" one.

She has been like this since the day she was born. She was/is always happy to just "be there".

So, this Sunday, I flawlessly got Cece ready and we skipped out the door, and drove off. Seriously. We did. I'm telling you..... she's easy.

When we got to church, we did our normal routine, got situated, and the service started.

Cece makes my heart ache sometimes because she is just so darn sweet.

I watched her sing (loud) along with the music, not knowing ANY of the words. I watched her sway back and forth to the music. I watched her search the crowd for her BFF, Charlie. I watched her sit in her seat; feet kicking and dangling off her chair. I watched her sprint up front for the children's message, holding on tightly to her purse and Hello Kitty doll. I watched her look back at me during the children's message several times, scrunch up her shoulders, smile a HUGE grin so her eyes barely looked open, and wave the tinniest wave to me with her little hand.

And then I watched her do this....

The pastor said, "Let us pray" and as I bowed my head, folded my hands, and closed only one eye (the other was sneaking a peek at Cece off to my right) , God showed up and showed out.

What I saw Cece do stabbed me in the heart, caught my breath, and transformed my face into a sad puppy dog expression....

She was holding her Hello Kitty doll and her head was bowed. Her eyes were closed and she was (wait for it.......)

HOLDING HELLO KITTY'S HANDS IN A PRAYING FORMATION!

Be still my heart.

It was THE MOST precious sight I have truly ever witnessed.

At that moment, I felt God's presence more than I had in a long time.

The other situation where God showed up and showed out was on Saturday. I'm not going to mention where I was or what I was doing..... because it's not important.

But what God did for me in that moment was powerful, necessary, and was a reminder that He is always working on me, steering me away from sin, even when I feel ignored.

The situation involved gossip.

Gossip about a person.

Negative, degrading, embarrassing gossip.

It seemed like everyone was contributing to the gossip and it was a moment of conversation between people that was heavy and moving very fast. I had decent information that I COULD HAVE contributed to this conversation. I had "dirt" on this person as well, and I KNOW that if I added my "dirt" to this conversation it would defiantly turn heads. Bringing this information to the table would have made me stand out to the others involved. They would listen to me and I would feel more accepted and liked by the group.

I sat and listened to the conversation.... remembering that "dirt" that I had. Thinking to myself that this is the perfect opportunity to bring up the information I had.

But, something kept my mouth shut.

Something enabled me to find an opening in the conversation to speak up.

Something made my heart ache for the person who was the topic of the gossip.

Something made me think.

Not once.... but twice.

This conversation ended and the moment for me to contribute passed me by.

But, then the same conversation came up again about 2 hours later.

 I had ANOTHER chance to add my salt to the wound of this persons dignity and confidence.

But, something kept my mouth shut.... again.

It was God... showing up and showing out.

Laying his hand on my shoulder and telling me to keep quiet. 

I felt it and I listened to it and I obeyed it.

Could I have done more in this situation? Absolutely.

I could have stopped the conversation. I could have spoken up and shook my finger at the others involved and said "shame on you......".

I could have done that.... but I didn't.

And I'm OK with that because God told me to do what He knew I'd be comfortable doing.

Baby steps.

I'm not perfect. VERY far from it. I gossip all the time. More than I'd like to admit. It's like eating an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream.... I know I shouldn't..... I know it's bad for me.... I know I'll regret it.... yet I do it anyway.

God knows my struggles and He knows that "I'm working at it". I apologize everyday for all the wrongs I do and He hears me.

This was a situation where he showed up and showed out and worked with me on taking baby steps toward eventually fixing this sin... my sin.

Who knows when this will happen again..... God showing up and showing out.

Maybe not for awhile or maybe tomorrow at lunch.  But whenever He decides to show up and show out, I'll feel it coming in loud and clear. I hope.