Friday, March 11, 2016

Rosie... Saying Goodbye


So Rosie died.
I had no idea it would hurt me as bad as it did. My God, how I loved that woman.
I was asked by her daughter to share memories of her at her funeral.
It was by far that hardest thing Ive ever had to do...... yet it was probably the proudest Ive ever been. I haven't cried that much since my dad died. Everytime I stop and think of a specific memory, picture her face and her smile, hear her giggle, try to remember her smell, or imagine myself hugging her, I get the worst flash of saddness in my chest/stomach. I thinbk I will miss her for the rest of my life.
 
Here is my speech:
I call her Rosie. To me, that is her name.

This nickname was created because my sister and I (at the age of 4) were not able to pronounce Ileana.

We also created a nickname for her husband ……….. we called him “Big Daddy” and for anyone who knew Bill, that name was a perfect fit.

Rosie was my childhood babysitter, and aside from my parents, she was one of the most important people in my life.

And as life carried on and I grew older, she became much more than a weekend babysitter….. she was a

·       A substitute grandma, sitting in the front pew at my wedding

·       A shoulder to cry on when my father passed away

·       A friend who I could visit, laugh, and drink  “sanka” coffee with every couple months.

·       And my personal cheerleader….. as she was the last person who gave me a “pep talk”  before I gave birth to my first child

So many memories of my childhood involve Rosie:

·       Making homemade bread with her and Big Daddy

·       Putting together jigsaw puzzles

·       Playing hours of marco polo

·       Looking forward to her coconut lamb cake every Easter and chocolate truffles every Christmas

·       Her making me warm milk and honey when I couldn’t sleep at night

·       Listening to old records on her record player.

One of my favorite memories that I have of Rosie is when she would take my sister and I to church with her.

She always made us wear a nametag and whenever the pastor would ask, “Do we have any visitors today?”, she would make us stand upstand up in the pew so everyone could see.

 At the time, it was slightly embarrassing……

but looking back on it now, I realize how proud she was to bring us into her church.

How proud she was to introduce us, “her girls” to her church friends and how important her faith was.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

Rosie also taught me many things….

·       How to play Chinese checkers, solitaire, and gin rummy

·       Special songs like “I love you a bushel and a peck…” and “Ring around the Rosie”

·       How to say my prayers before every meal and before bed

·       And the true meaning of the phrase “it’s the thought that counts” when gift giving.

 

That’s another trait about Rosie… her giving heart. I can recall the many gifts she gave my sister and I over the years.  Birthday gifts and Christmas gifts. They were never much, but the meaning behind them is what made them so special……. A box of pocket-size Kleenex, a single pencil, a stuffed cat, or a piece of her own jewelry….. which I wore on my wedding day……… all simple, in-expensive gifts that came from the heart.

Its funny…. I have probably received hundreds of gifts over the years….. but these gifts from Rosie are ones that I remember  and treasure the most.

A friend of mine (and of Rosie’s) recently shared with me a  few verses from the book of Mark that she felt described the kind of woman Rosie was. 

The verses are entitled “The Widow’s Offering” and I’d like to read them…..

God says this:

41 Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury.

Many rich people threw in large amounts. 42 

But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents.

43 Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. 44

 They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”

 

Rosie had specific characteristics about her that only “Rosie could possess”….

·       Her strong and confident faith in and God

·       Her smell

·       Her love for the color pink… light pink….

·       Her jet black hair…… when even at the age of 93 still didn’t have one single shred of gray…..

·       Her distinct handwriting

·       The sound of her laugh

·       How her glasses would rise on her cheeks when she would smile

·       And her hands…….

As a child, and even as an adult, I would always would rub my fingers over the prominent blue veins  on the top of her hands….. Her skin was so thin and so soft and her nails perfectly manicured.

A lot of these traits are also traits that her daughter, Diane, has…..

and I love the fact that I can see bits and pieces of Rosie in her.

I know Rosie is elated to be in heaven with God.

 I know she is reuniting with Big Daddy, with my dad, and so many others that have gone before her.

 I know she wasn’t scared of death and was ready to “go home” when God came for her… because she told me many times.

I also know how much she will be missed.

 By me and my family.

By her family.

And by all of us here, who were blessed to know her.

A quote from one of my favorite books helps explain how I will continue to go through life without Rosie’s presence….

“Lost Love is still Love. It takes a different form, that’s all.

SO…. Even though I cant hug her tiny frame, hold her hand, or hear her laugh anymore……… I still have my memories of Rosie…. As we all do.

Nurture these memories.

Hold them and dance with them until you see her again.

Remember that “Life has to end, but love doesn’t”.

May you rest in peace, Rosie….. I love you a bushel and a peck.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Bitter with The Bachelor.

The Bachelor.

I've watched this show, on and off, for years.

I've never really taken this show too seriously, but I have always enjoyed the guilty pleasure of following it.

Until now.

It wasn't until last night, when I was watching the most current episode, that I suddenly realized the total stupidity of this show.

 It suddenly hit me that this show is disgusting.

Humorous.

A total joke.

Get a bunch of girls together and have them compete for the love of one man.  And according to the contestants and the man himself..... the love that is being fought for is....real. Real love.

REAL love is not something I would EVER want to compete for.  I'll compete for money, material items, vacations, bragging rights, self-motivation, tickets to see CĂ©line Dion..... but not for love.

First off..... Ceceilia Grace....... if you EVER "compete" with another girl for the love of one man, I'll kill you. 



NEWSFLASH........ A strong, confident, smart woman should never have to compete with anyone for anything.... let alone the love of another human being.

The girls on this show last night pissed me off. These girls actually break my heart. I hate the fact that some of these girls are idolized. I hate the fact that the "prize" that they are all competiting for is also idolized.

One girl said, "He is the man of my dreams. He is the one I've been waiting for my entire life. He is the type of man I want my dad to give me away to."

Who exactly is the man of your dreams?

A man who cheats? A man who lies? A man who tells another woman besides you  :I love you"? A man who is incredible at "playing the game"? THAT is the man of your dreams?

The man of my dreams kisses ME.  Not her.
The man of my dreams holds ME.  Not her.
The man of my dreams looks deep into MY eyes. Not hers.
The man of my dreams whispers sweet-nothings in MY ears. Not hers.
The man of my dreams gets introduced to MY family. Not hers.





Never once when I was younger did I dream about a man who I had to prove myself to or fight for.

Never once did I dream about a man who I had to beg to "pick me! pick me!"

These girls should really step back and look at this man and his character.

On one eposide, Ben (the prize to be won)  had 2 girls on a date. (seriously?!?!? That's just sick.)

 One of the girls was going to be rewarded with a rose at the end of the date.... for I guess being the better girlfriend to Ben.

 Ben stands in front of them both, holding the rose in his hand.

The girls are looking at him like lost puppies..... begging for the rose.

He walks toward one girl, and askes her to "please come with me".

The girls eyes light up, she smiles, takes his hand, and they walk off to a privet spot on the beach.

 Once they are all alone, he looks at her and tells her.....

this rose isn't for you.

What a dick.

What an asshole.



To humiliate that girl like that. To get her hopes up. To trick her like that. What kind of "prince charming" does that?

He then leaves her standing there...alone on the beach... as he walks back to the other girl, hands her the rose, kisses her, hugs her, and they walk off in the sunset together.

where just minutes ago, he was telling the other girl, the girl he just humiliated, how much he liked her.

WTF dude? !?

THAT is the man of your dreams?!

BASS- TURD (yes I know its spelled wrong)

Lets switch gears..... the "reality" of this show is a joke.

These dates? bahahahah.

How about taco bell and putt-putt? What about shopping at the mall, eating at the food court, and then kissing goodnight in the car?

Who rents out the Braves stadium for a date? Who makes a reservation for a table at the top of the effile tower? Who kisses under a waterfall in Jamacia then swims with dolphins.... ON A DATE?!?!

And can I mention that there is never any food on these dates. If a date dosent involve food..... it sucks.

Come on....   do these girls think this is real life? I hope not. I really hope not.

Lets think about their appearance.....

The clothes they wear? They way they always look flawless? How they all have impeccable style and taste? And WHO buys their clothes?!

Can you say "stylist"?

Lets mention where these girls live.....

When Ben has narrowed down his selection to 4 girls..... he gets to travel to their hometowns and meet their families.

This is usually the part when he also gets to go to their homes and see how they live.

All these girls live large! I mean, their homes are styled, trendy, clean, and they actually have real furniture.

I don't know about you, but when I was 22 or 23, I was still using hand-me-down college furniture and had framed pictures on my wall of drunken college nights.

My APARTMENT (not HOUSE) didn't look like a magazine ad for Pier One!

I mean.... I'm well into my 30s and I still trying to figure out my decorating  "style".

When these girls talk, I just want to plug my ears and yell really loud to block out the sound of their ridiculousness!

"I love him"
"I'm falling in love"
"He's perfect"

SHUT UP YOU DITZ.

Have you heard him fart yet?
Have  you smelled his morning breath yet?
Has he seen you on the toilet?
Have you watched him barf?
Have you seen him clip his toenails?
Has he seen your period stained underware?
Has he seen your legs 2 weeks post shaving?
Has he seen your armpits 2 weeks post shaving?
Have you seen him weep?
Have you done his smelly laundry?
Have you smelled his burps? Has he smelled yours?
Have you seen him in severe pain?
Has he seen you depressed and unable to get out of bed?
Has he seen you worry about paying your light bill or making your next car payment?
Has he gotten angry with you for spending too much money at the mall?
Have you seen him so drunk its disgusting?
Has he seen you after working a 40 hours work week...... while on your period?
Have you seen him absolutely terrified?
Has he ever caught you in a lie?
Have you ever caught him in a lie?
More than once?
Have you not been able to go out on a romantic date for months because money is tight?
Has he seen your nails un-manicured, your make-up off, and you in your stained t-shirt and sweat pants?
Have you seen him gain weight over the years?
Have you watched each other grow and mature?
Has he seen you when your sick?
Has he experienced your bitchy-ness?
Have you experienced him when he is a selfish asshole?

Cause all this WILL HAPPEN.

Hopefully BEFORE marriage.

If you haven't don't these things yet.... of course you love him! If you haven't seen the worst in each other yet, then of course you are both perfect!

If you wanna know if you REALLY love him..... experience all the above first..... and if you still wanna hang out with him, then it might be love.

This stuff isn't shown in the show, is it?

I mena, I know its entertainment. I know its for ratings. I get it.... but still.... "Love" today is so misunderstood.

And Im gonna have to be the one to explain the real truths about love to my kids.... which I would have done anyway, without the help of "The Bachelor" or "Married at First Sight"..... but these "reality" shows don't help out with parenting at all.

Ugh.... Ive got a lot of work cut out for me...... thank you TV for making my job as a parent even more difficult that it already is. Seriously..... thank you.






Netflix, Nonsense, Needs, and Never Again.

Netflix
Breaking Bad
Orange is the New Black
The Walking Dead
Chelsea Does
How to Make a Murderer
Lost
Prison Break
Tiny: A Story About Living Small
The Killing
Lie to Me
Heart of Dixie
Broadchurch
The Dark Matter of Love
Fame High
The Hundred
My Brothers Keeper
First Comes Love
Super Size Me
American Horror Story
Gossip Girl
Scandal
Gilmore Girls


Nonsense
My family drama
Donald Trump
Dieting
Thongs
Hilary Clinton
Book Banning
Math
Salary of professional sports players
Affairs
Lifestyle of the Real Housewives
Justice System
Farrah from Teen Mom
The Fox and The Hound
Assholes
Kate Gosslin
Being "too busy"
Teacher Salaries
Reading a book for pleasure
My weight
Long runs on a school day


Needs
New water bottle
Jeans
Wine
Fringe booties
Bedroom curtains
Coffee Creamer
Hallway rugs
Sleep
Ice cream
Exercise
Friendships
God
Pedicure
Manicure
Diet Coke
Vacations
Goals
Laughter
Money
Approval
Sleep
Reassurance
Blue Moon
New left knee
Detox Tea
Sleep
Chocolate
Make-up
Babysitters
Vanilla Frozen Greek Yogurt


Never Again
Rosie
Half Marathon without training
Going to the beach 10 days after giving birth
Trying to drive all night
Teach "The Lord of the Flies"
Drunk Dial
Go to a golf tournament with Toby
Go too "cool" on my blonde highlights
Have bangs
Be pregnat
Get pregnant
Try to stop taking anti-depressants
Freedom Writers
Move
Wear spanx
Read in the car
Use the excuse "young and dumb"
Allow Leo to have a camera while I'm taking a shower
Assume...... anything
Trust a duck
Eat Las  Vegas Buffet
Go to Put-in-Bay with Katie
Boogie Board
Melt "orange buttercream" wax cubes at work
Get acrylic nails
Long run on a school day