You Are Here.

September 2016
Things are good.
Not fantastic.
Not amazing.
Not terrible.
Just good. And that's good.
  Leo is 5 and Cece is 4. I am 36 and Toby is 35.

He is in his 2nd year of preschool..... thank Goodness he didn't go to Kindergarten. He just wasn't ready. Best choice Toby and I ever made. What's the rush, right? Better safe than sorry.

She is in her 1st year of preschool.

Cece is my dream girl. She is a blessing that I don't deserve. Her cuteness at 4 years old melts my heart every day.

Leo is so loving and caring and I am so proud of him. I tell him how much I love him everyday and I don't think it will never be enough. He is the best thing in my life. She is the best thing in my life.

Gertie is almost 10 years old and I worry about her everyday. I don't know what Ill do without her. She NEVER leaves my side. She still plays with her toys, eats her food, snuggles with me at night, and kisses me whenever she gets a chance..... as long as she still does those things I'm happy.

Toby is still as amazing as the day I met him....probably more. At 9 years of marriage we are still a strong couple. Lots has changed, but I'd be concerned if they didn't.

He's an awesome father and still tells me I'm hot. I'll take it.

Work is good. I love teaching 9th grade. Its a fun age. And I love that I get to teach both of my passions.... English and History. Never expected to get to do that.

  I'm still trying to accept that I'll never be as happy in the workplace as I was when I was at WSJH and worked with "Team Darby". That was a once-in-a-lifetime group given to me by God himself and I guess I'm lucky to have been blessed with it.

Toby loves his job and is thrilled with the new responsibilities he's been given. He's a true leader and is really good at what he does.

Leo is playing soccer this fall and so far seems to like it.

Cece is in her 3rd year of dance and she adores it.

Cece is currently sick with Strep throat and she is pitiful. I think she's going to be like me. I got sick a lot when I was a kid. Why? Who knows. What is it about kids when they are sick? She has the ability to turn me into a puddle of goo when she is sick. Her sad eyes and they way she says "mommy" when she is sick get me every time. We have been making "sick beds" on the couch for her, giving her extra baths, her own box of Kleenex to keep by her bed, her own ice pack, and anything else her little heart desires.

Leo wants to bad to be sick.

I'm still struggling with self image and its the most annoying feeling in the world. Sometimes I think I'm crazy and sometimes I feel normal. I can never tell on a day-to-day basis.... which is scary. Getting old is not an enjoyable experience and one that I'm learning how to deal with.

Im working hard at staying organized and keeping the household together. I enjoy it and take pride in it. The laundry, the cleaning, the groceries, the meals, the decorating, the memory-making..... its all important to me.

Trick-or-treat is around the corner and as of now Leo is going as Spiderman and Cece will be Elsa.

  Toby and I are starting to plan a trip to Mexico to celebrate our upcoming 10 years of married bliss. We are still trying to figure out a time to go....

We are going on a date on Saturday night. Im looking forward to it.

As of now, September 2016, things are pleasant. I cant complain.... Im a lucky girl.... God has blessed me and Im thankful everyday, even though I don't say it as often as I should.

And that is where we are on the map of life.

Would You Be There?

If I went to see a medium?

Would you show up "from the other side" and talk to me?

Is that even possible? I mean.... I see TV shows where it happens to people all the time. Is it real?

Do people really "cross over" and visit us?

Do our loved ones who have died have an option to do this a lot?

If this is true, would you show up for me if given the chance?

If so, what would you tell me?

Or would you roll your eyes at the thought and leave me sitting there, waiting....... You never really were into any of this "stuff", so I honestly don't know if you would "show up" and "speak".

If so.... Tell me that you miss me as much as I miss you?

Would you tell me that you "see everything"?

Would you tell me what it's like in Heaven?  Would you shared details about what God is like?

Would you tell me that you are with Rosie and Jerry and Grandma and Grandpa?

Michael Jackson? Whitney Houston?

Would you know who Leo and Cece and Toby are?

Would you be proud of me?

Have you been watching "The Walking Dead"? Cause you would LOVE it.

If I asked you about the day you passed away would you remember it as I do?

Or would you see if differently?

Would you be upset at me for not really saying "good bye"?

Or would you tell me that you understand?

I wonder if you would tell me if you were ready to go or not.

Would you tell me whether or not that dream I had about you in the tanning bed was real or not?

Did you really stick your hand through the door and wave to me?

Were you waving "hello" or "goodbye"?

Would you tell me if you think I'm doing a good job raising my kids?

Would you love Leo and Cece like only a Grandpa would?

  Id love to know your thoughts about Donald Trump maybe being our next President.

Would you take the time to give me medical advise?

I wonder if you have tried to do this before and I wasn't paying attention?

If so, when?

If not, why?

If it IS possible that people are able to connect with others who have passed on, then why is it so expensive?

Why does it have to cost $500+ do ask someone to simply tell someone else "hi" for you?

People who have these talents are special people.... why are they using their God given gifts to make money?

If they really are God given gifts.......

I just wonder if you would show up..... and if you didn't, who would?