On 2nd Thought: Like a whore in church. (by: Jess)

Ever heard that phrase, "I was sweating like a whore in church"?

That was ME today at school.

Here's what happened...... (in a nutshell)

Our school is hot. The air is (apparently) on, but at level .43 on a scale of 1-10. It's also August. There are also (on average) 23 people in my room at one time. All breathing.

So..... its stuffy and hot. And it made me realize that............ I must have some sort of sweating, PH, hormone, body temperature problem. Because sweating like THAT is not necessary.

I teach for 2 hours and then I have a break. As my last class was exiting the room, I followed them out and caught a quick glimpse of myself in the full length mirror on my wall.

O.M.G.

R U KIDDING ME?!

SERIOUSLY?!?!

SONOFA !!!!

Picture this: pit stains the ENTIRE LENGTH of my torso! Pit to mid bra strap!

I was wearing a mustard yellow t-shirt with a black tank top underneath. Under my arms was an extremely darker color of yellow from the rest of the t-shirt.

My first thought......How long have I looked like I'm hemorrhaging from the armpits?!?! How many people saw this?!?! Do I stink like 8th grade boys after gym?

I immediately ran to the teacher's room next door, bolted toward her desk, shot up my arms and said "LOOK AT ME?!?!?!"

Her response is exactly like mine would be if some manic would have run up to me and done this.

After she gathered her composure, she gave me some options on what to do.

Since guns are not allowed in school, I thought I'd take her #2 option and go to guidance and see if they have any cardigans or coats or something....

Thank goodness she had a cute little red cardigan! It even matched my outfit! I was terrified all she would have had would be a hot pink bubble coat with a hood! Imagine how THAT would have looked!

I busted into the guidance room the same way I approached my next-door classroom neighbor and proceeded to do the same song and dance.

Problem solved. Outfit fixed. Dignity (somewhat) saved.

Or so I thought....

Problem NOT solved.
Outfit NOT fixed.

It was only a matter of time til I started sweating through the red cardigan! There is was again, like the little black hair that keeps popping up on my body in a place it shouldn't! My armpits were a distinctly darker shade of red then the rest of my sweater!

WTF is wrong with me?!?! I'm seriously not THAT hot!

Also..... Dignity NOT saved.

By lunch time the entire staff (it seemed like) had heard about my "incident".

Woof. Nice.

I will be stopping at Walmart on my way home, from the inferno we call a school, for a new, stronger anti-antiperspirant. I am also going to write a strongly worded letter to the maker's of Dove, cause they obviously sold me a bogus product.

You can better believe that my wardrobe will be BLACK on BLACK from here on out.