I have a situation for you..... I've got this friend who doesn't know what to do about a situation she has found herself in.... Put yourself in her spot....
Someone you know has just tried to commit suicide.
They tried to cut their wrists with a steak knife.
(They were not successful..... And honestly it was more like " let me hold this knife to my wrist, cry and sob, threaten to do it, but never pressed down" type of thing.)
The reason for wanting to die?
You.
They blamed it on you.
They threaten to kill themselves because "they can't take the way you treat them anymore".
They told lots of people that you are the reason they want to die.
Everyone now looks at you in disgust and hate. They think you are a bad person, have said bad things about you and to you, and have totally turned on you.
You are confused, hurt, angry, shocked, insulted, worried, bitter, and sad.
You are responsible for someones suicide attempt. You COULD HAVE been the cause of someones death.
You asked this person countless time to explain their reasons. You have asked them to please explain to you how you are the reason for this? What have you done (specifically) to them that has hurt them this much?
They have nothing to say.
Now.....after all the drama of trying to kill themselves, blaming it on you, spreading rumors and lies, portraying you in a terrible, shameful light...... They are acting as if nothing ever happened and are wondering why you are not answering their calls.
What would you do?
Seriously. I want to know. Inbox me, comment, Fb me, whatever.
My friend is beside herself and would appreciate any advise on the situation.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Since when did failure become an option? (By: Jessica)
I'm feeling so disappointed today.
I'm disappointed in my students.
I experienced a situation today that I have never experienced before.
Here is the reason for my disappointment....
I had 3 students...who were currently failing my class. They were BARELY failing, which means they were VERY CLOSE to passing.
Very close, like 1 or 2 percentage points away from passing.
I told them this.... "If you make up ONE assignment that you missed, you will end the grading period with a passing grade". Nothing extremely demanding. Nothing hard or confusing or stressful. Just simple..... complete the work you are missing and pass.
Easy Peasy, right?
Yeah...that's what I thought.
But I was wrong.
None of them completed their assignment.
None of them seemed to care that they were going to FAIL the nine weeks.
None of them seemed to care that if they completed just ONE ASSIGNMENT, they would pass.
I was so let down.
I suddenly realized that failing was OK with them. Failing was acceptable to them. Failing wasn't a big deal. The past 63 days was a complete and total waste of time/work/effort for them...because they failed anyway.
It was/is so depressing. Don't you think? It's amazing how much "school" has changed from when I was in Jr. High.
If I FAILED a class.... not a test, not a project, not a homework assignment..... an ENTIRE CLASS, I would have been DEVASTATED!! My heart would have been broken and my confidence shattered. My parents would have FLIPPED OUT on me and the guilt I would have felt by letting them down would have almost killed me. Let's not even talk about the trouble I would have been in and the amount of things that would have been taken away from me.
But, I guess it's not like that anymore.
It breaks my heart how acceptable failure is today. How "OK" it is to fail.
The phrase "I don't care" couldn't be more true.
I know that not ALL of today's youth has this mentality. I know a good amount of kids who impress me everyday. I know some kids who would DIE if they failed a test.... let alone a class. I know some kids who would have jumped at the opportunity to pass the class if they had the chance. I know some kids who would be willing to do hours and hours of extra credit if it meant they would pass and not fail.
The sad part is, is that I honestly only know SOME kids like this. Not a lot.
I guess these feelings just come with the job. I know that I can't "change the world" or I can't FORCE anyone to care about anything. But...dang.... wish they would just try sometimes.
I guess all I can do... outside of all the things I already do daily for my students ... is to just pray for them.
Pray that God helps lead them in the right directions.
Pray that this stage in their life is just an "awkward stage" and eventually they will come around and get serious about their education.
I'm gonna pray that God gives them more self confidence and self worth and helps them to realize that it's not OK to fail.....at anything. Especially without effort.
I'll pray......
I'm disappointed in my students.
I experienced a situation today that I have never experienced before.
Here is the reason for my disappointment....
I had 3 students...who were currently failing my class. They were BARELY failing, which means they were VERY CLOSE to passing.
Very close, like 1 or 2 percentage points away from passing.
I told them this.... "If you make up ONE assignment that you missed, you will end the grading period with a passing grade". Nothing extremely demanding. Nothing hard or confusing or stressful. Just simple..... complete the work you are missing and pass.
Easy Peasy, right?
Yeah...that's what I thought.
But I was wrong.
None of them completed their assignment.
None of them seemed to care that they were going to FAIL the nine weeks.
None of them seemed to care that if they completed just ONE ASSIGNMENT, they would pass.
I was so let down.
I suddenly realized that failing was OK with them. Failing was acceptable to them. Failing wasn't a big deal. The past 63 days was a complete and total waste of time/work/effort for them...because they failed anyway.
It was/is so depressing. Don't you think? It's amazing how much "school" has changed from when I was in Jr. High.
If I FAILED a class.... not a test, not a project, not a homework assignment..... an ENTIRE CLASS, I would have been DEVASTATED!! My heart would have been broken and my confidence shattered. My parents would have FLIPPED OUT on me and the guilt I would have felt by letting them down would have almost killed me. Let's not even talk about the trouble I would have been in and the amount of things that would have been taken away from me.
But, I guess it's not like that anymore.
It breaks my heart how acceptable failure is today. How "OK" it is to fail.
The phrase "I don't care" couldn't be more true.
I know that not ALL of today's youth has this mentality. I know a good amount of kids who impress me everyday. I know some kids who would DIE if they failed a test.... let alone a class. I know some kids who would have jumped at the opportunity to pass the class if they had the chance. I know some kids who would be willing to do hours and hours of extra credit if it meant they would pass and not fail.
The sad part is, is that I honestly only know SOME kids like this. Not a lot.
I guess these feelings just come with the job. I know that I can't "change the world" or I can't FORCE anyone to care about anything. But...dang.... wish they would just try sometimes.
I guess all I can do... outside of all the things I already do daily for my students ... is to just pray for them.
Pray that God helps lead them in the right directions.
Pray that this stage in their life is just an "awkward stage" and eventually they will come around and get serious about their education.
I'm gonna pray that God gives them more self confidence and self worth and helps them to realize that it's not OK to fail.....at anything. Especially without effort.
I'll pray......
A Major Award (By: Jessica)
I have won a major award.
This moment in my life reminds me of the scene from "A Christmas Story" when Ralphie's dad win's the leg lamp.
"Tonight, tonight, it's comin tonight, hot damn tonight!"
"Well, it's a major award! I won it!"
A dear friend, loyal fellow blogger, and one hell of a hero...... Ashley Quarles.... has nominated me for a Liebster Award!!
This is an award passed around the blogging community for upcoming bloggers with less than 200 followers and/or for someone that deserves some recognition for their blogging.
I honestly couldn't be more honored. Being friends with Ashley is an honor in and of itself.... but this is just an extra added bonus! Thank-you, Ashley, for doing this! It means more than you know!! xoxo
Read about Ashely and her story HERE. She has changed my life and the way I look at......EVERYTHING. I think about her every. single. day. I met Ashley through my friend, Jennifer. Ashley and Jennifer are sisters. I have known Ashley ever since I moved to SC...about 8 years now. Every year we seem to grow closer and find out more about each other. I love hanging out with her, having dinner dates with her, going to movies with her, reading her blogs, and being her friend. I feel extremely blessed to know Ashley... she probably has no idea how much she has taught me over the years or how much I think about her and pray for her. I firmly believe that God puts specific people in your life. She was placed in my life by Him. No question.
Now..... about this major award of mine......
THE (bendable) RULES:
-I must pass this award on to others who I feel are deserving.
- Each person tagged must post 11 things about themselves.
- They must also answer the 11 questions the tagger has set for them.
- They must then choose 11 bloggers to tag & award with the Liebster award (nominees must have less than 200 followers). These lucky bloggers must be told in a comment on their blog.
- They must create 11 more questions to ask bloggers they have decided to tag
Ready? Go!
2. I HATE doing things over.
3. I go to bed every night by 8pm! 9pm at the LATEST!
4. I hate to clean, but I'm a great "picker-upper"
5. I love to cook!
6. I am currently training to walk/run a half marathon. I'm still not convinced I can do it.
7. I'm addicted to coffee
8. I plan things months in advance so I have things to look forward to.
9. I'm always early or right on time.Never Hardly ever late.
10. I could NEVER be a stay-at-home-mom...... and sometimes I feel guilty about that.
11. I have a twin sister
12. I try to make my husband proud of me....constantly.
This moment in my life reminds me of the scene from "A Christmas Story" when Ralphie's dad win's the leg lamp.
"Tonight, tonight, it's comin tonight, hot damn tonight!"
"Well, it's a major award! I won it!"
A dear friend, loyal fellow blogger, and one hell of a hero...... Ashley Quarles.... has nominated me for a Liebster Award!!
This is an award passed around the blogging community for upcoming bloggers with less than 200 followers and/or for someone that deserves some recognition for their blogging.
I honestly couldn't be more honored. Being friends with Ashley is an honor in and of itself.... but this is just an extra added bonus! Thank-you, Ashley, for doing this! It means more than you know!! xoxo
Read about Ashely and her story HERE. She has changed my life and the way I look at......EVERYTHING. I think about her every. single. day. I met Ashley through my friend, Jennifer. Ashley and Jennifer are sisters. I have known Ashley ever since I moved to SC...about 8 years now. Every year we seem to grow closer and find out more about each other. I love hanging out with her, having dinner dates with her, going to movies with her, reading her blogs, and being her friend. I feel extremely blessed to know Ashley... she probably has no idea how much she has taught me over the years or how much I think about her and pray for her. I firmly believe that God puts specific people in your life. She was placed in my life by Him. No question.
Now..... about this major award of mine......
THE (bendable) RULES:
-I must pass this award on to others who I feel are deserving.
- Each person tagged must post 11 things about themselves.
- They must also answer the 11 questions the tagger has set for them.
- They must then choose 11 bloggers to tag & award with the Liebster award (nominees must have less than 200 followers). These lucky bloggers must be told in a comment on their blog.
- They must create 11 more questions to ask bloggers they have decided to tag
Ready? Go!
11 Things about Me:
1. My career goal is to teach at a college or university. My dream is to one day "teach teachers". 2. I HATE doing things over.
3. I go to bed every night by 8pm! 9pm at the LATEST!
4. I hate to clean, but I'm a great "picker-upper"
5. I love to cook!
6. I am currently training to walk/run a half marathon. I'm still not convinced I can do it.
7. I'm addicted to coffee
8. I plan things months in advance so I have things to look forward to.
9. I'm always early or right on time.
10. I could NEVER be a stay-at-home-mom...... and sometimes I feel guilty about that.
11. I have a twin sister
12. I try to make my husband proud of me....constantly.
Questions from Ashley:
1. Given the opportunity to tell someone who is no longer in your life
something, what would it be?
I would like to tell my Dad how much I loved and admired him. I want to tell him that he was an amazing father. I want to tell him "thank you" for all he did for me and our family. I want to tell him how much I miss him and how much I miss doing things with him. I want to tell him that I have so many memories of him and I will always treasure them. I want to tell him how much as changed since he died.
2. Who is your favorite singer/band?
Rascal Flatts
3. What about your favorite book?
"Heaven is for Real"
4. What is your dream job?
Education Professor at a University
5. In 3 sentences (or less) tell me about yourself.
I am a 32 year old mother, wife, sister, daughter, teacher, friend, and Christian. My life is busy, organized, full of love and silliness, but not perfect. I strive everyday to keep my head above water and thank God everyday for not letting me drown.
6. What is your biggest pet peeve?
Laziness
7. Do you prefer spring, summer, fall or winter?
Fall!
8. What's the weather like where you are?
SC weather is the best! Currently is it January and 50 degrees. It's rainy, but I can deal with that.... as long as the sun shines SOON!
9. Do you have any resolutions for 2013? If so, what are some of
them?
Resolutions? No. Goals... yes! Read HERE.
10. What is your favorite thing to drink?
Safe- Vanilla Coke Zero
Unsafe- Red wine, vanilla vodka and root beer, dirty martini's with extra dirt, Blue moon with an orange slice.
11. What is your favorite type of blog?
Honest. Real. Down to earth. One I can relate to.
Now the questions for MY blog nominees:
1. What is the purpose of your blog?
2. What is your biggest fear?
3. What is your proudest moment?
4. What is your least proudest moment?
5. What do you want to improve in your life?
6. Describe your relationship with your parents.
7. How do you "de-stress"?
8. Talk about your "best friend"
9. Finish this sentence..."You would NEVER believe this, but this one time I........."
10. Who do you miss the most?
11. On a scale of 1-10, how happy are you in your career and why. (10 being THRILLED!)
I pass this major award on to the following fellow bloggers.......
* I'm supposed to nominate 11 people. But, I don't follow 11 blogs with less than 200 followers. Thank goodness these rules are "bendable"!*
1. Kristen @ Kristen is Just Sayin
2. Christie @ Feeding Gremlins After Midnight
3. Carly @ Marry Rich and Have Babies
2. Christie @ Feeding Gremlins After Midnight
3. Carly @ Marry Rich and Have Babies
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Faithful Years (By: Jessica)
2012....... what a year.
Full of ups and downs.
Full of trial and error.
Full of smiles, frowns, tears of happiness, tears of anger, unexpected surprises, unexpected heartbreaks, new ways of thinking, new address, and everything else in between.
If I've learned anything from 2012 it is this.......
Have faith.
I spent the first half of 2013 terrified, scared, confused, unsure, not confident , and anxious. I had just found out I was expecting another baby and the thought of that scared me to death!
But, I had a little faith to spare and God took care of it for me. Cece is perfect and I don't remember what life used to be like without her.
I also spent a lot of 2013......physically miserable. I. hate. being. pregnant. I'm not one of those people who "loves being with child". Besides the fact that I couldn't drink alcohol for 9 months, I also couldn't move without pain, or sleep soundly, or sit down in comfort......ever. This pregnancy was also more difficult that last time because I was forced to chases after a toddling toddler the whole time. Not easy. I think I prayed 2,532 times a day to God to please just "be with me". And he was. Glad I had faith.
2013 was a year of change for me. We moved to a new home. We added another person to our family. My body went through more changes than I ever imagined. My relationships with certain people changed... for the better and worse. My outlook on my career changed. After looking back on all the change I have experienced in 2012, I have come to the conclusion that.......WITH A LITTLE FAITH, CHANGE IS GOOD.
Overall, 2013 was good to me. I'm happy, healthy, and alive. My family is happy, healthy, and alive. I can't complain.
I'm excited about 2013.... as I am about all new years. I'm not the "new year resolution making type", but I do like to set goals for the new year. Some time's I achieve them, sometimes not. But if you don't have a goal...what's the point of....... anything?
Anyway- here are some goals that I hope to accomplish this year and with a little faith, I hope to do just that.
1. Tuck some graduate hours under my belt in order to complete my Master's +30
2. Participate in a half-marathon ("participate", not "run".)
3. Join the YMCA
4. Make some extra money
5. Make my blog into a book
6. Schedule a family photo session
7. Participate in more 5k's
8. Eat cleaner
9. Become more involved in my church
10. Spend more time with the hubby
11. Let my hair grow
12. Read more books
13. Continue "pinning" and experimenting
14. Run 3 days a week
15. Pay more attention to my wardrobe
16. Gossip less
17. Stop caring (so much) about what others think
18. Wear my Christianity on my sleeve
19. Coupon more
20. Pray more
21. Consider a PhD (wince)
Full of ups and downs.
Full of trial and error.
Full of smiles, frowns, tears of happiness, tears of anger, unexpected surprises, unexpected heartbreaks, new ways of thinking, new address, and everything else in between.
If I've learned anything from 2012 it is this.......
Have faith.
I spent the first half of 2013 terrified, scared, confused, unsure, not confident , and anxious. I had just found out I was expecting another baby and the thought of that scared me to death!
But, I had a little faith to spare and God took care of it for me. Cece is perfect and I don't remember what life used to be like without her.
I also spent a lot of 2013......physically miserable. I. hate. being. pregnant. I'm not one of those people who "loves being with child". Besides the fact that I couldn't drink alcohol for 9 months, I also couldn't move without pain, or sleep soundly, or sit down in comfort......ever. This pregnancy was also more difficult that last time because I was forced to chases after a toddling toddler the whole time. Not easy. I think I prayed 2,532 times a day to God to please just "be with me". And he was. Glad I had faith.
2013 was a year of change for me. We moved to a new home. We added another person to our family. My body went through more changes than I ever imagined. My relationships with certain people changed... for the better and worse. My outlook on my career changed. After looking back on all the change I have experienced in 2012, I have come to the conclusion that.......WITH A LITTLE FAITH, CHANGE IS GOOD.
Overall, 2013 was good to me. I'm happy, healthy, and alive. My family is happy, healthy, and alive. I can't complain.
I'm excited about 2013.... as I am about all new years. I'm not the "new year resolution making type", but I do like to set goals for the new year. Some time's I achieve them, sometimes not. But if you don't have a goal...what's the point of....... anything?
Anyway- here are some goals that I hope to accomplish this year and with a little faith, I hope to do just that.
1. Tuck some graduate hours under my belt in order to complete my Master's +30
2. Participate in a half-marathon ("participate", not "run".)
3. Join the YMCA
4. Make some extra money
5. Make my blog into a book
6. Schedule a family photo session
7. Participate in more 5k's
8. Eat cleaner
9. Become more involved in my church
10. Spend more time with the hubby
11. Let my hair grow
12. Read more books
13. Continue "pinning" and experimenting
14. Run 3 days a week
15. Pay more attention to my wardrobe
16. Gossip less
17. Stop caring (so much) about what others think
18. Wear my Christianity on my sleeve
19. Coupon more
20. Pray more
21. Consider a PhD (wince)
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