Like, weird-er than normal. Which is effin scary. I mean, Im even freaking myself out. I normally laugh at my stupidity, because my sense of humor allows me o do things like that, but lately... these matters are nothing to laugh about. It's getting serious, folks. Like... I may need a CT scan or I need to change my name to Sybil. One or the other....
My recent actions that make me think WTF....
1. I went to pick the kids up from school the other day.... Wednesday.
They don't go to school on Wednesday's.
Let me repeat..... I. went. to. pick. the. kids. up. from. someplace. they. were. not. at.
The sad part..... It honestly took me a total of about 10 minutes to realize THEY WERE NOT THERE.
It wasn't until one of the teachers says to me, "It's Wednesday."
"Yeah.........and?"
Then it hit me.
like a brick wall.
omg.
OMG.
The look the lady gave me immediately made me hear the "psyco" theme song in the background.
I'm sure when I walked out the door...... with no children.... people were concerned.
I know I was.
I didn't even tell my mother-in-law what I had done.
I mean.... I was practically 30 min late coming hope than my normal arrival time. No big deal. Nothing to see here.
2. Speaking of my mother-in-law, I needed a huge favor from her the other day.
I texted her about 8:15am and said, "Can you do me a huge favor?"
She immediately responded with "Sure!" (as usual! Bless her!)
I said.... "Brace yourself..... I need you to bring me a bra."
I them proceeded to explain to her that I had worn a black bra to school and did not realize that the top I was wearing was totally and completely see-through.
I didn't realize it until the morning bell rang and I was walking toward the full-length mirror in my classroom and it me.... you guessed it.... like a cottin'pickin' brick wall.
I was a paranoid freak the rest of period 1.... feeling like a $2 whore who lost her pole.
3. It took me about 35 minutes to drive to work the other day.
Normally it takes me about 10.
Why did it take 35 you ask?
Well, the brick wall didn't hit me until I was out by Walmart (the complete OPPOSITE end of town), that I was going the completely wrong direction.
4. The CVS drive thru in Celina is s-l-oooooo-w.
I don't know why, but they are.
Always.
Anyway, after Cece's dance lesson I swung through to pick up my 24th round of antibiotics for a sinus infection that I've had since 3rd grade.
I knew I'd have to wait because I always have to wait..... and because the drive thru line was 7 cars deep. O'well, I honestly didn't mind. Cece was in the back seat watching Dora, reciting the Spanish word for "broccoli" and seemed perfectly content.
I was exhausted and didn't mind the break from having to do anything constructive. So I browsed my phone.
About 25 minutes later I finally got up to window......
and I drove right on through.
The lady at the window looked like a spectator at the Daytona 500....her head followed me from the right alllll the way through to the left.
I avoid all eye contact and kept my eyes to the front. I had both hands gripped tightly on the wheel at 10 and 2 and my posture was straight and stiff.
Why did I breeze through the drive thru like a fart in the wind?
Cause it took about that long for that brick wall to smack me in the face and remind me that I DIDNT HAVE MY PURSE.
omg.
OMG!?!?!
5. Speaking of drive thru's...... have you even went through the drive thru at a fast food place, got up to the window, looked at the teenager working at the window with a blank stare, and tell him, "Uh... I forgot to place my order."
No?
Just me?
Ok then.....
Sweet Jesus Mary..... someone gimme a nap.
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