SO last night was very eye opening. I saw my strong, masculine, and brave husband, crumble into the fetal position, whimpering like Gertie when she gets caged. I'm very surprised that our neighbors didn't call 911 due to all the blood curling screams that were coming from our house.
And those screams weren't from me.....
Why did Toby fall to pieces, you ask?
'Cause I waxed his back.
Let me explain....
We are getting ready to go to the beach next week and I informed Toby that his lower neck/upper back area was getting a little fuzzy. Prolly from the numerous times I have shaved it for him, which usually results in the hair growing back thicker and darker. So I mentioned maybe waxing it.....
Let me say that again.... I "MENTIONED" it. I didn't push it. Toby was the one who went to CVS and bought an "at-home waxing kit". He originally wanted to buy "Nair", but I didn't think that would work as well as wax would. I mean..."Nair" is for "girl hair", not wirey, dark, long, man-hair. Plus.... I secretly couldn't wait to see him squirm from the riiiiiiiippppp of the waxing! Just thinking about it made me smile and giggle a little.
So, he brought home the kit and we planned on doing the "procedure" on Saturday night. I told Toby we should do it a week before we go to the beach so his back will have time to heal.
"HEAL?!?!?!" said Toby.
I just smirked......
Anyway- after we laid Leo down for a short evening nap, I got things ready for the "procedure". I heated up the wax and had Toby lay on his belly on the couch. I should have know that things were not going to go smoothly when he whimpered as I was putting the wax on....
The first RIP was hilarious!!! It took me about 10 min to actually do it cause I was laughing so hard! Toby was making the funniest sounds and every time I went to pull off the white strip, I just couldn't! Finally, when I found the guts to do it, I think every muscle in Toby's body clenched and he was laughing so hard from the pain! At one point I even said, "Shhh! You will wake the baby!!"
The next RIP was very similar, if not identical, to the first one.
The 3rd RIP was the last. My 30 year old, baby-daddy, man-of-the-house, supplier of the bacon, couldn't take anymore. He was done.
Which resulted in only 1/2 of the man-hair getting removed. It didn't look right....kinda un-even....like Steve Carell's chest in "40 Year Old Virgin".
This is where the real drama started.....
Toby REFUSED to allow me to do the rest! At first I thought he was kidding, but he wasn't. He was serious. I remember asking him "Are you serious??" a few times. Each time he responded with "YES! I'm done!" I told him it didn't look "right" and he didn't care.... we would just shave the rest!
eye-yigh-yigh!
Toby went upstairs to shower, cause there was still a lot of wax left on his skin....he didn't let me finish remember.....
When he came back downstairs he was flipping out cause the wax "wouldn't come off!" He was mad cause he was gonna be "sticky all night!" He came down and sat on the couch and immediately got back up and said that he was gonna have to take ANOTHER shower! I couldn't help but smirk...... HE DIDN'T LET ME FINISH!!!
After about 20 min of letting Toby shower and scrub and shower and scrub, I decided to go up and help. I didn't exactly know what to do, but I felt bad, so I was determined to get the excess wax off.....some how......
FYI: NEVER, I repeat NEVER, use nail polish remover on skin that has just been waxed. It will NOT remove the excess wax and apparently burns a little. Sorry babe....
So anyway- the waxing session was an epic fail. My husband caved like a little school girl who is scared to pull her tooth. But.....it was a memory maker that's for sure! Every time I think about the night's episodes I can't help but laugh out loud a little and smile so big it hurts! (in fact, I'm doing it right now!!)
In conclusion...thanks Toby for showing my your "sensitive" side. It was cute and adorable and gave me a great laugh! I love you! xoxox
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