I am a Disney fan! I heart Disney! I grew up on Disney, have been to WDW a handful of times and still believe it is THE most magical place on EARTH. I have seen every Disney movie and can quote (word-for-word) about a half dozen of them. I'm a fan and always will be.....
But
Let me say this.....
What is it with mommy and daddy dying in some of these movies?
This is something I have been thinking about a lot lately because Cece and Leo are just now getting into movies. They are starting to actually sit down and watch the move for a significant amount of time. They are starting to know names of characters and learn the songs. Its a milestone, I think.
Some of the movies that we watch on the reg are:
Frozen
Tangled
Lion King
The Rescuers
The Little Mermaid
Finding Nemo
Both kids love these flicks.
Both kids have asked the same question, at the same point in the movie, every time.
Whenever a death scene/sad scene occurs I hear (usually from Leo) "Mommy, wha append?"
When Rapunzel's "mom" dies (Tangled)
When Anna and Elsa's parent die (Frozen)
When Simba's dad dies (Lion King)
When Ariel has to leave her dad (Little Mermaid)
When Penny cries because she docent have any parents (The Rescuers)
When I first heard this question I tried to avoid it. Like I try to avoid the question "what did you spend $50 on at Walmart?"
I said, "I don't know....."
Like the $50 Walmart question, I eventually had to create an answer.
In Frozen...... Ela and Anna's parents die in a tragic shipwreck. The two sisters are left along and scared asking "what are we gonna do?"
Its heart wrenching.
After this emotional scene, Leo ALWAYS says in a sad voice, "Mom, wha append?"
I eventually said, "Elsa and Anna's mommy and Daddy went on vacation."
Death at sea.
In Lion King, Simba's daddy is trampled by a stampede of (some animal) after falling, practically 1,000 feet, from a cliff. I hold my breath every time. Its so tragic. (especially since it was his brother who pushed him from said cliff).
Leo always waits until the part when Simba is trying to wake his dad up.
After a few attempts, he crawls under his dad's cold, lifeless paw and nuzzles his little lion cub head again the dead corps of his father...... and cries.
Seriously, Disney?!?! How necessary is this?!?!
Leo (like clock work) asks, "Mom, wha append?".
I have nothin for this one. I said, "Simba'a daddy died."
Leo looks at me, wide eyed, with a small pout on his face and says, "but why?".
My (brilliant and thought out) response..... "because."
Brotherly Love.
In Tangled, Rapunzel's "mom" gets stabbed with a huge, sharp shard of glass and trips and falls out of a window to her untimely death. I think this was a bit much. Cece is usually the one who question's this murder scene.
"Mommy, wha appened?"
Me.... "Rapunzel's mommy fell down."
Murder.
In The Little Mermaid, Ariel has to choose between love and family. She chooses love and has to bid a sad farewell to her Dad and sisters..... and based on how the movie ends, it appears she will never see them again in her lifetime.
Horribly sad and depressing.
Why didn't Erik turn into a mer-man? He didn't even have a family to leave behind. I swear.... women are always sacrificing for men. Always.
Anyway- Leo always says, "Where is her Daddy going?"
Me.... "He's going to work."
Saying Good-Bye
In The Rescuers, Penny has a sad low moment. It was adoption day at the orphanage and she was by-passed for a prettier ginger. It's pathetic and makes my lip quiver. And don't even get me started about the part when she is crying and that horribly sad song is playing in the background. C'MON!
Leo had (2) questions on this one....1. "Mom, why are you crying?" and 2. "where's her mommy and daddy? Did they go to work? Did they go to church? Did they go exercise?"
And then THIS happened......
He started to cry.
Heart. Broken.
Poor Penny scene
In Finding Nemo, in the opening scene, Coral is ravingly attacked by a sharp-toothed fish and then eaten. (it's assumed) Nemo's dad is heartbroken and is left alone to raise Nemo all by himself.
When Leo asks, "What happened to his mommy?"
Me...... ""she went to the grocery store."
I guess I'll eventually have to explain what a "widower" is. Ugh... I don't know if I have it in me.
Nemo death scene
My problem with these scenes is that I feel they are forcing me to explain death, grief, dying, and kids with no parents to my 2 and 3 year old. I think that's a little heavy to explain to them. I feel it's a little much for their small world.
I mean.... Cece has only been in this world for 2 years. 2 YEARS! And already I'm expected to explain horrible and sad things to her?! I don't want to ruin her "sunshine and rainbows" view of the world just yet.
I've decided to continue to avoid these discussions with my happy kids. I will continue to sugar-coat these scenes until I can't anymore. Then I will work my way into explain the details of death and dying and sadness to them. Can't wait for that day.
I already have decided that The Fox and the Hound and Bambi are movies that Leo and Cece will NEVER see while under my watch. When they are grown, have their own homes with their own TV's and DVD players (or whatever is invented by then) THEN they can choose to watch those life-altering movies. Until then.... banned from our home.
Sunday, August 24, 2014
Friday, August 22, 2014
A Picture is Worth 1,000,000,000 Words. (By: Jessica)
The other day a good friend posted a picture on FB of a Halloween party from (at least) 10 years ago.
I saw it and immediately smiled!
We all looked sooooo young! Not a care in the world! Having a "good ole time" in Bowling Green! I remember that night, as well as that party. The people in the picture are people I hung around with. I considered them my friends. I spent time with them practically every weekend. I went to HS with all of them and we continued to hang with each other all through college. The grey haired politician, the cow, the boy scout, and I haven't seen in years! Would love to see them again and catch up! The other two gals I have seen....the genie continues to be one of my BFF's to this day.
HERE IS SAID PICTURE:
I looked at this picture, smiled, laughed out loud, and continued with my day.
But still kept thinking about it. About that party and who I was then and who I am now. I started looking at the details of that picture and started to remember a little more about it than I did at first.
Looking at that picture now makes my stomach turn upside down and makes me want to cry.
This picture was (obviously) taken in October. My heart had just been broken by a boy who I thought I was gonna marry. My dad was dead for just a year. My friend (the genie) had just told me some "gossip" that hurt my heart.
I remembeedr that night well. It was all coming back....
That red dress I am wearing was an old bridesmaid dress. The couple of that wedding is no longer together. That made me start thinking about the groom and how much he changed and how much of a ponytail he became. I also began thinking about the bride and how she is still an extremely great friend and is still the sweetheart she was back then! Made me think about how lucky she was to get out of that relationship! She's since re-married to a fantastic man, has a beautiful daughter, and another baby on the way.
I remember that I was working at JC Penney at this time. I was forced to take a year off from teaching because I couldn't pass the SS PRAXIS test. I was working at a middle school in Findlay the year before and loved that job more than words could ever describe. But I lost that job and was forced to pay my bills working retail. Worst. time. in. my. life.
I remember that the genie and I decided to go to this party at the last minute. I remember my mom helping me decide "what to be". We decided on "Miss America" and I went to the mall to get the crown, sash, and necklace.
I remember that I wore heels to the party. (trying to stay in character!)
I also remember walking home from the party to the genie's apartment (on the other side of BG) in bare feet.
I was also grieving the loss of my dad, and to be honest, I don't think that I really believed he was really "gone" yet. I'll never forget crying on the genie's apartment steps one night after a party (was it this party?) because I missed him so bad. I'll never forget how she put her arms around me and just sat with me. Thanks, genie.
I was working a job I hated and I was STILL taking that effin test. I was broke and had a hole in my heart oceans wide.
I remember forcing myself to go to this party. Forcing myself to get dressed up. Forcing my self to smile. Especially in that picture. I remember how I thought about the man who broke my heart alllllll night long and wanted to know so bad what he was doing that night. I remember that I deleted his phone number from my old school cell phone so I wouldn't be tempted to call him after too many Halloween cocktails. I remember how bad I wish I hadn't had done that. I remember how I had to take deep breaths to keep my stomach from hurting and to keep the pain in my heart away.
Looking at this picture makes me sad.
But, it also makes me proud.
Proud that the genie and I are still very close.
Proud that I am still in contact with the cow, boy scout, and the politician via FB.
Proud that I overcame that terrible heartache.
Proud that I kept trying at that damn test and finally passed.
Proud that I didn't stay in retail and went back to teaching.
Proud that I finally learned how to grieve and accept the loss of my dad.
Proud of my friend, who moved on from the jerk of a man she was once married to.
Proud that I kept those heels on all night, just like Miss America would and should.
Proud that I DID get my heart broken. Proud that I was able to move on......and get a job, move to SC, find Toby, marry him, have children......
Proud that through all the sh** I was going through at that time, there was still a smile on my face in that picture.
I think I was 23 or 24 in this picture.
If I could talk to my 23 or 24 year old self, I'd say this.....
"Good job, girl! Good job for keeping your chin up and putting a smile on your face....... even though you were the lowest you've ever been. Good job."
I saw it and immediately smiled!
We all looked sooooo young! Not a care in the world! Having a "good ole time" in Bowling Green! I remember that night, as well as that party. The people in the picture are people I hung around with. I considered them my friends. I spent time with them practically every weekend. I went to HS with all of them and we continued to hang with each other all through college. The grey haired politician, the cow, the boy scout, and I haven't seen in years! Would love to see them again and catch up! The other two gals I have seen....the genie continues to be one of my BFF's to this day.
HERE IS SAID PICTURE:
I looked at this picture, smiled, laughed out loud, and continued with my day.
But still kept thinking about it. About that party and who I was then and who I am now. I started looking at the details of that picture and started to remember a little more about it than I did at first.
Looking at that picture now makes my stomach turn upside down and makes me want to cry.
This picture was (obviously) taken in October. My heart had just been broken by a boy who I thought I was gonna marry. My dad was dead for just a year. My friend (the genie) had just told me some "gossip" that hurt my heart.
I remembeedr that night well. It was all coming back....
That red dress I am wearing was an old bridesmaid dress. The couple of that wedding is no longer together. That made me start thinking about the groom and how much he changed and how much of a ponytail he became. I also began thinking about the bride and how she is still an extremely great friend and is still the sweetheart she was back then! Made me think about how lucky she was to get out of that relationship! She's since re-married to a fantastic man, has a beautiful daughter, and another baby on the way.
I remember that I was working at JC Penney at this time. I was forced to take a year off from teaching because I couldn't pass the SS PRAXIS test. I was working at a middle school in Findlay the year before and loved that job more than words could ever describe. But I lost that job and was forced to pay my bills working retail. Worst. time. in. my. life.
I remember that the genie and I decided to go to this party at the last minute. I remember my mom helping me decide "what to be". We decided on "Miss America" and I went to the mall to get the crown, sash, and necklace.
I remember that I wore heels to the party. (trying to stay in character!)
I also remember walking home from the party to the genie's apartment (on the other side of BG) in bare feet.
I was also grieving the loss of my dad, and to be honest, I don't think that I really believed he was really "gone" yet. I'll never forget crying on the genie's apartment steps one night after a party (was it this party?) because I missed him so bad. I'll never forget how she put her arms around me and just sat with me. Thanks, genie.
I was working a job I hated and I was STILL taking that effin test. I was broke and had a hole in my heart oceans wide.
I remember forcing myself to go to this party. Forcing myself to get dressed up. Forcing my self to smile. Especially in that picture. I remember how I thought about the man who broke my heart alllllll night long and wanted to know so bad what he was doing that night. I remember that I deleted his phone number from my old school cell phone so I wouldn't be tempted to call him after too many Halloween cocktails. I remember how bad I wish I hadn't had done that. I remember how I had to take deep breaths to keep my stomach from hurting and to keep the pain in my heart away.
Looking at this picture makes me sad.
But, it also makes me proud.
Proud that the genie and I are still very close.
Proud that I am still in contact with the cow, boy scout, and the politician via FB.
Proud that I overcame that terrible heartache.
Proud that I kept trying at that damn test and finally passed.
Proud that I didn't stay in retail and went back to teaching.
Proud that I finally learned how to grieve and accept the loss of my dad.
Proud of my friend, who moved on from the jerk of a man she was once married to.
Proud that I kept those heels on all night, just like Miss America would and should.
Proud that I DID get my heart broken. Proud that I was able to move on......and get a job, move to SC, find Toby, marry him, have children......
Proud that through all the sh** I was going through at that time, there was still a smile on my face in that picture.
I think I was 23 or 24 in this picture.
If I could talk to my 23 or 24 year old self, I'd say this.....
"Good job, girl! Good job for keeping your chin up and putting a smile on your face....... even though you were the lowest you've ever been. Good job."
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Like a whore in church. (by: Jess)
Ever heard that phrase, "I was sweating like a whore in church"?
That was ME today at school.
Here's what happened...... (in a nutshell)
Our school is hot. The air is (apparently) on, but at level .43 on a scale of 1-10. It's also August. There are also (on average) 23 people in my room at one time. All breathing.
So..... its stuffy and hot. And it made me realize that............ I must have some sort of sweating, PH, hormone, body temperature problem. Because sweating like THAT is not necessary.
I teach for 2 hours and then I have a break. As my last class was exiting the room, I followed them out and caught a quick glimpse of myself in the full length mirror on my wall.
O.M.G.
R U KIDDING ME?!
SERIOUSLY?!?!
SONOFA !!!!
Picture this: pit stains the ENTIRE LENGTH of my torso! Pit to mid bra strap!
I was wearing a mustard yellow t-shirt with a black tank top underneath. Under my arms was an extremely darker color of yellow from the rest of the t-shirt.
My first thought......How long have I looked like I'm hemorrhaging from the armpits?!?! How many people saw this?!?! Do I stink like 8th grade boys after gym?
I immediately ran to the teacher's room next door, bolted toward her desk, shot up my arms and said "LOOK AT ME?!?!?!"
Her response is exactly like mine would be if some manic would have run up to me and done this.
After she gathered her composure, she gave me some options on what to do.
Since guns are not allowed in school, I thought I'd take her #2 option and go to guidance and see if they have any cardigans or coats or something....
Thank goodness she had a cute little red cardigan! It even matched my outfit! I was terrified all she would have had would be a hot pink bubble coat with a hood! Imagine how THAT would have looked!
I busted into the guidance room the same way I approached my next-door classroom neighbor and proceeded to do the same song and dance.
Problem solved. Outfit fixed. Dignity (somewhat) saved.
Or so I thought....
Problem NOT solved.
Outfit NOT fixed.
It was only a matter of time til I started sweating through the red cardigan! There is was again, like the little black hair that keeps popping up on my body in a place it shouldn't! My armpits were a distinctly darker shade of red then the rest of my sweater!
WTF is wrong with me?!?! I'm seriously not THAT hot!
Also..... Dignity NOT saved.
By lunch time the entire staff (it seemed like) had heard about my "incident".
Woof. Nice.
I will be stopping at Walmart on my way home, from the inferno we call a school, for a new, stronger anti-antiperspirant. I am also going to write a strongly worded letter to the maker's of Dove, cause they obviously sold me a bogus product.
You can better believe that my wardrobe will be BLACK on BLACK from here on out.
That was ME today at school.
Here's what happened...... (in a nutshell)
Our school is hot. The air is (apparently) on, but at level .43 on a scale of 1-10. It's also August. There are also (on average) 23 people in my room at one time. All breathing.
So..... its stuffy and hot. And it made me realize that............ I must have some sort of sweating, PH, hormone, body temperature problem. Because sweating like THAT is not necessary.
I teach for 2 hours and then I have a break. As my last class was exiting the room, I followed them out and caught a quick glimpse of myself in the full length mirror on my wall.
O.M.G.
R U KIDDING ME?!
SERIOUSLY?!?!
SONOFA !!!!
Picture this: pit stains the ENTIRE LENGTH of my torso! Pit to mid bra strap!
I was wearing a mustard yellow t-shirt with a black tank top underneath. Under my arms was an extremely darker color of yellow from the rest of the t-shirt.
My first thought......How long have I looked like I'm hemorrhaging from the armpits?!?! How many people saw this?!?! Do I stink like 8th grade boys after gym?
I immediately ran to the teacher's room next door, bolted toward her desk, shot up my arms and said "LOOK AT ME?!?!?!"
Her response is exactly like mine would be if some manic would have run up to me and done this.
After she gathered her composure, she gave me some options on what to do.
Since guns are not allowed in school, I thought I'd take her #2 option and go to guidance and see if they have any cardigans or coats or something....
Thank goodness she had a cute little red cardigan! It even matched my outfit! I was terrified all she would have had would be a hot pink bubble coat with a hood! Imagine how THAT would have looked!
I busted into the guidance room the same way I approached my next-door classroom neighbor and proceeded to do the same song and dance.
Problem solved. Outfit fixed. Dignity (somewhat) saved.
Or so I thought....
Problem NOT solved.
Outfit NOT fixed.
It was only a matter of time til I started sweating through the red cardigan! There is was again, like the little black hair that keeps popping up on my body in a place it shouldn't! My armpits were a distinctly darker shade of red then the rest of my sweater!
WTF is wrong with me?!?! I'm seriously not THAT hot!
Also..... Dignity NOT saved.
By lunch time the entire staff (it seemed like) had heard about my "incident".
Woof. Nice.
I will be stopping at Walmart on my way home, from the inferno we call a school, for a new, stronger anti-antiperspirant. I am also going to write a strongly worded letter to the maker's of Dove, cause they obviously sold me a bogus product.
You can better believe that my wardrobe will be BLACK on BLACK from here on out.
.jpg) |
| my stains were larger. |
.jpg) |
| My facial expression was more dramatic |
.jpg) |
| about the size of mine! Maybe longer.... |
 |
| facial expression still more dramatic than this..... |
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
I'm Feelin' 22! (by: Jessica)
I don't know about you, but I'm feelin' 22!
Well....sometimes. After a few glasses of wine, maybe. My knees..... they feel 112.
Anyway- today I am 34. I was born on this day. So was my sister, Jill. (yes.... twins)
I was thinking this morning about birthday's in general and about why people wish ME a" happy birthday"?
Shouldn't they be telling MY MOM "happy birth-day"? I mean, this is the day she birthed me, 34 years ago. She did all the work. I just laid there. Shouldn't we be giving her presents and cake and well wishes and singing to her?
I also had this thought on Cece's birthday a few weeks. For a hot second I thought......"I should be the one being celebrated. 2 years ago TODAY I was in terrible pain, looked like a weeble wobble, and lost all dignity and privacy." But then I snapped outta my selfish twlight zone and continued to sing, "happy birthday dear, Cece, Happy Birthday to you." (then I added my own name to the song under my breath.)
This year for my birthday, year 34, I couldn't be happier. Happy for so many reasons. Not only did my husband do REALLY good at gift giving (this is something he really struggles with and obviously has been working at. This is a big deal. Big. Huge. ) but I am finally surrounded by my friends and family after being out of state for the last 8 birthdays. Ever since I turned 25 I have celebrated my birthday with no family or long-time friends in sight. For the last 8 years, there has always been a sad, homesick feeling in my heart on August 20.
Not this year, bit**es!!!
What an awesome feeling! For people who have always had family in their back yard, you will never know how important they are or how much they are missed until you are far, far away form them.
Tonight I'm having birthday pie (Razzleberry) with ice cream with my family. I love and appreciate how my father-in-law shares my obsession with pie and ice cream (and other desserts in general). It reminds me of the sugar-loving bond my dad and I had. Pretty sure Cece has inherited that gene and I couldn't be prouder. She had 3 bowls of sherbet last night. That's my girl!!
Looking forward to next year (and the many years that will follow) when we can all gather in MY kitchen, at 1220 Jessica Lane, sing the classic song, blow out the candles, and eat pie.
Well....sometimes. After a few glasses of wine, maybe. My knees..... they feel 112.
Anyway- today I am 34. I was born on this day. So was my sister, Jill. (yes.... twins)
I was thinking this morning about birthday's in general and about why people wish ME a" happy birthday"?
Shouldn't they be telling MY MOM "happy birth-day"? I mean, this is the day she birthed me, 34 years ago. She did all the work. I just laid there. Shouldn't we be giving her presents and cake and well wishes and singing to her?
I also had this thought on Cece's birthday a few weeks. For a hot second I thought......"I should be the one being celebrated. 2 years ago TODAY I was in terrible pain, looked like a weeble wobble, and lost all dignity and privacy." But then I snapped outta my selfish twlight zone and continued to sing, "happy birthday dear, Cece, Happy Birthday to you." (then I added my own name to the song under my breath.)
This year for my birthday, year 34, I couldn't be happier. Happy for so many reasons. Not only did my husband do REALLY good at gift giving (this is something he really struggles with and obviously has been working at. This is a big deal. Big. Huge. ) but I am finally surrounded by my friends and family after being out of state for the last 8 birthdays. Ever since I turned 25 I have celebrated my birthday with no family or long-time friends in sight. For the last 8 years, there has always been a sad, homesick feeling in my heart on August 20.
Not this year, bit**es!!!
What an awesome feeling! For people who have always had family in their back yard, you will never know how important they are or how much they are missed until you are far, far away form them.
Tonight I'm having birthday pie (Razzleberry) with ice cream with my family. I love and appreciate how my father-in-law shares my obsession with pie and ice cream (and other desserts in general). It reminds me of the sugar-loving bond my dad and I had. Pretty sure Cece has inherited that gene and I couldn't be prouder. She had 3 bowls of sherbet last night. That's my girl!!
Looking forward to next year (and the many years that will follow) when we can all gather in MY kitchen, at 1220 Jessica Lane, sing the classic song, blow out the candles, and eat pie.
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Confessions. (By: Jessica)
1. I'm about to turn 34 and I keep thinking I'm 35.
2. I have not trained for my half marathon in 3 days and it's killing me! I have a weird pain in my knee that I have been trying to let rest and heal. Its kinda getting worse. I'm so anxious to get back to my training that I'm gonna try to run tonight. I have been thinking about this allllllll day long.
3. I slept about 2 hours total last night. (the night before the first day of school) Yes..... I still get nervous.
4. Cece's hair is a hot mess.
5. I really need to get my family back on our meal plan.
6. I'm thrilled with my new teaching position, school, co-workers, and administrators. Thrilled.
7. I feel overwhelmed with school starting and with keeping up my jewelry business......and I love it!!!
8. I "messed around" with some money in our bank accounts the other day. I thought Toby wouldn't notice. I thought wrong. #triedtobesneaky #notagoodsneak
9. My sister-in-law asked me the other day if I had oil or dry skin. I honestly had NO IDEA how to answer that question.
10. While driving home from Rockford the other day I got totally and completely lost and had to use my GPS to get home. (sidenote: Rockford is about 8 min from my house.)
11. I'm so excited about our basement being dug/poured that I want to start moving boxes in there NOW! Apparently you are not allowed to do that.....
12. I want to have a "house blessing party" soon.
13. I haven't done laundry, cleaned a bathroom, or vacuumed carpet in 10 months. It bothers me to the core and I feel so ashamed.
14. Church NEEDS to start being a priority. Why is this so hard!?!
15. I feel guilty when I wear jewelry other than Premier.
16. I feel really let down by some people in my life.
17. I totally spent money that was not mine and didn't realize it for 3 days. (see #8)
18. Leo looked at me the other day and said with passion and emotion, "I Hate You". I died a little. Spanked his bottom. Put him in time-out. Told my mother-in-law like it was hot gossip. Then died some more.
That's it! More next week......or not. We will see.
Thursday, August 14, 2014
The Jewelry Lady (by: Jessica)
So I've started a 2nd job. As if I needed ONE MORE THING to concentrate on, right? But, seriously, this decision didn't come easy.
Starting a career with Premier Designs High Fashion Jewelry has been something I have always thought about. It has always been something I knew I could do. It has always been something I wanted to do. It has always been that little something wisper in the back of my head on random occasions..... "spppp.... Jess..... remember me? The jewelry business? Ya know, I'm ready when you are!"
One of my long time best friends, Becca, has been a well known jewelry lady in her area for years! I remember when she first told me that she was working with Premier. It was 2007 and I was thrilled for her! I LOVE Premier jewelry and knew about their amazing hostess benefits! I immediately wanted to host a party! To help Becca out (of course) and to get myself some new (free) accessories!
After my party, Becca asked me if I would ever be interested in getting involved in the business. I said "no". It wasn't something I was interested in at all at that time. Toby and I had only been married a fe months, had JUST started a new life in SC, and didn't even have human babies yet. I was focused on my teaching career and my new marriage. That was enough for me.
We never talked about it again....... until May 2014.
It's funny how God places things in your life at JUST the right time. Remember that wispering voice in the back of my head....."spppp....Jess.... me again. Ready yet?" Well it was getting louder and I was in the mood to listen.
Toby, I, our 2 kids, and our dog had just spontaneously packed up our lives of 9 years in Greenville, SC and moved back home to Celina, OH.
Best. Decision. Ever. But came with a few consequences......
I took the year off teaching and substituted for the remainder of the school year. (Oct-May) Once school was out for the summer I was faced with something I had not had to deal with since 2002.
Getting paid in the summer.
For the last 11 years I had been getting a paycheck in the summer from whatever school I was employed with. This summer I didn't have that luxury. Enter.....PANIC MODE.
"Guess your gonna have to have to get a job" said my loving husband.
"Guess your gonna have to kiss my ass" I replied.
There was a moment in time where I thought I was gonna have to work on a factory line, wearing steel toed boots, cussing at the people beside me and spitting tobacco on the floor. (not that there is anything wrong with that....it's just not something I'm used to. But I could be. If I needed to. And if I was forced to......with a gun to my head.)
Toby told me that he didn't think I would enjoy that. So I moved on and started looking at other options.
Then came that voice again.
Long story short..... I mentioned it to Toby. (the jewelry thing)
He was hesitant.
I then reminded him that he might have to start looking at me in bib overalls with oil stains on my face and chew dripping from my mouth.
He thought about it some more and started to get OK with the idea.
I called Becca and took the plunge.
Her immediate faith in me was incrediable. She didn't waste any time getting me started up and before I knew it, I was on my own. I was my own boss. I was an official Jewelry Lady. I had my own jewelry business. Now, I had to start making money.
Getting started was easy. I have a wonderful family and loyal friend who stepped right up to the plate and helped me get my feet wet. Toby's cousin Ashley had a party for me and so did Toby's Aunt Laura and Aunt Jean. My sister had a party for me and so did my sister-from-another-mister, Katie.
Those people will never know how important that was to me and my new business. They allowed me to take a chance on their friends and family and gave me the support and encouragement I really needed at that time. I was so scared and nervous about this decision. What if I made the wrong one? It was so comforting to know that these (4) people believed in me enough and loved me enough and cared about me enough. They didn't even hesitate to say "yes!" when I asked them if I could do a show for them. They had no excuses and made time for me. Still warms my heart thinking about it. Everyone needs people like that in their lives.
Ashley, Laura, Jean, Jill, and Katie....... Thank you. Seriously. What you did for me at that time in my life means more to me than you will ever know. Ever.
Since starting my jewelry career I have had 15 shows, earned (3) charms for my Premier Designs Jeweler bracelet, earned $400 in free jewelry, and have made over $5,000.
This business is fun! I really love it! I've always loved jewelry, but it's not all about the jewelry. It's about meeting all kinds of cool ladies. It's about not trying to be something I'm not. These ladies at my shows like my sarcastic sense of humor. They like the demo's I show with the jewelry. They like my fashion sense. They get my jokes. (sometimes) The smile at me while I'm talking and ask me questions that make me feel important. And they REALLLLLLLLLY love me when I give them hundreds of dollars in free jewelry!
That's the best part. Giving the free jewelry. It makes me feel like Santa all throughout the year, not just at Christmas.
Premier is a company that came to me at just the right time in my life. God placed Premier in my life, no question about it.
That little voice?
It was Him.
Always is, isn't it?
Anyway- it was a good decision...... taking a chance starting my own business. I'm glad I did it and it worked out (is working out) in my favor. It's fun and I enjoy it and now I can get my nails done whenever I want to or go see a movie with my sister or spend money on things that I don't need. And that's pretty cool.
Starting a career with Premier Designs High Fashion Jewelry has been something I have always thought about. It has always been something I knew I could do. It has always been something I wanted to do. It has always been that little something wisper in the back of my head on random occasions..... "spppp.... Jess..... remember me? The jewelry business? Ya know, I'm ready when you are!"
One of my long time best friends, Becca, has been a well known jewelry lady in her area for years! I remember when she first told me that she was working with Premier. It was 2007 and I was thrilled for her! I LOVE Premier jewelry and knew about their amazing hostess benefits! I immediately wanted to host a party! To help Becca out (of course) and to get myself some new (free) accessories!
After my party, Becca asked me if I would ever be interested in getting involved in the business. I said "no". It wasn't something I was interested in at all at that time. Toby and I had only been married a fe months, had JUST started a new life in SC, and didn't even have human babies yet. I was focused on my teaching career and my new marriage. That was enough for me.
We never talked about it again....... until May 2014.
It's funny how God places things in your life at JUST the right time. Remember that wispering voice in the back of my head....."spppp....Jess.... me again. Ready yet?" Well it was getting louder and I was in the mood to listen.
Toby, I, our 2 kids, and our dog had just spontaneously packed up our lives of 9 years in Greenville, SC and moved back home to Celina, OH.
Best. Decision. Ever. But came with a few consequences......
I took the year off teaching and substituted for the remainder of the school year. (Oct-May) Once school was out for the summer I was faced with something I had not had to deal with since 2002.
Getting paid in the summer.
For the last 11 years I had been getting a paycheck in the summer from whatever school I was employed with. This summer I didn't have that luxury. Enter.....PANIC MODE.
"Guess your gonna have to have to get a job" said my loving husband.
There was a moment in time where I thought I was gonna have to work on a factory line, wearing steel toed boots, cussing at the people beside me and spitting tobacco on the floor. (not that there is anything wrong with that....it's just not something I'm used to. But I could be. If I needed to. And if I was forced to......with a gun to my head.)
Toby told me that he didn't think I would enjoy that. So I moved on and started looking at other options.
Then came that voice again.
Long story short..... I mentioned it to Toby. (the jewelry thing)
He was hesitant.
I then reminded him that he might have to start looking at me in bib overalls with oil stains on my face and chew dripping from my mouth.
He thought about it some more and started to get OK with the idea.
I called Becca and took the plunge.
Her immediate faith in me was incrediable. She didn't waste any time getting me started up and before I knew it, I was on my own. I was my own boss. I was an official Jewelry Lady. I had my own jewelry business. Now, I had to start making money.
Getting started was easy. I have a wonderful family and loyal friend who stepped right up to the plate and helped me get my feet wet. Toby's cousin Ashley had a party for me and so did Toby's Aunt Laura and Aunt Jean. My sister had a party for me and so did my sister-from-another-mister, Katie.
Those people will never know how important that was to me and my new business. They allowed me to take a chance on their friends and family and gave me the support and encouragement I really needed at that time. I was so scared and nervous about this decision. What if I made the wrong one? It was so comforting to know that these (4) people believed in me enough and loved me enough and cared about me enough. They didn't even hesitate to say "yes!" when I asked them if I could do a show for them. They had no excuses and made time for me. Still warms my heart thinking about it. Everyone needs people like that in their lives.
Ashley, Laura, Jean, Jill, and Katie....... Thank you. Seriously. What you did for me at that time in my life means more to me than you will ever know. Ever.
Since starting my jewelry career I have had 15 shows, earned (3) charms for my Premier Designs Jeweler bracelet, earned $400 in free jewelry, and have made over $5,000.
This business is fun! I really love it! I've always loved jewelry, but it's not all about the jewelry. It's about meeting all kinds of cool ladies. It's about not trying to be something I'm not. These ladies at my shows like my sarcastic sense of humor. They like the demo's I show with the jewelry. They like my fashion sense. They get my jokes. (sometimes) The smile at me while I'm talking and ask me questions that make me feel important. And they REALLLLLLLLLY love me when I give them hundreds of dollars in free jewelry!
That's the best part. Giving the free jewelry. It makes me feel like Santa all throughout the year, not just at Christmas.
Premier is a company that came to me at just the right time in my life. God placed Premier in my life, no question about it.
That little voice?
It was Him.
Always is, isn't it?
Anyway- it was a good decision...... taking a chance starting my own business. I'm glad I did it and it worked out (is working out) in my favor. It's fun and I enjoy it and now I can get my nails done whenever I want to or go see a movie with my sister or spend money on things that I don't need. And that's pretty cool.
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Need Help? (By Jessica)
Help.
It's something I've always had a problem accepting.
Actually..... that's a lie.
I guess I have either always welcomed help or never really thought much about it.
Until I had children. Then it was all I thought about.
I need help.
Who can help me?
No one is helping me!
Do I ask people to help me too much?
Do I turn down help too often?
Do I have more help than the average individual?
Do I need less help?
Do I need more help?
This is a topic that has bothered me since DAY ONE of Leo Beck Rolfes' life. As soon as he was born.......BOOM...... the issue of "help" became a huge issue.
From the first diaper change, when the nurse asked me if I "needed help", I honestly didn't know what to say. If I DID need help, was I already a bad mom and less of a woman? If I DID'NT need help was I a know-it-all bitchy helicopter mom?
I drive myself crazy thinking about this so-called "help".
I beat myself up when I ask for help. It makes me feel weak, lazy, spoiled, and too consumed with my own self to worry about anyone or anything else. It makes me feel like a "bad mom" (whatever that is... more on that to come) and immature. It makes me feel like I can't do anything on my own and makes me feel like less of an adult.
I also also feel rude when I turn down help. When someone offers help to me and I say "no thanks" I feel.......bad.
But it also makes me feel very defensive. When people say "let me help you" or "can I help?" it makes me feel like they think I really need it. Do I look like I'm struggling? Do I look like I can't handle this? Do I look like I "need help"?
But then when no help is offered (or so I think.... in reality it's always available to us. We are lucky) I feel too busy, overwhelmed, rushed, and stressed out. I feel alone and unappreciated and sorry for myself.
Geez, I just realized how selfish that is.
So what's a mom to do? Take help? Not take help?
What's an outsider to do? Offer help? Not offer help?
In the whole "scheme of life" (this seems to be my new way of putting things into perspective lately) I really believe that there is NEVER too much help.
When it comes to my children, isn't the fact that people want to be involved in their lives a good thing? Isn't it cool when people ask to pick them up from school? Or take them to the park? Or give them a bath? Or read them a book? Or buy them new clothes? Or take them to McDonalds?
Yes it is cool. It's very cool that the kids have so many people that love them enough to want to do these things for them. And that love me enough to want to do these things for me.
I need to stop thinking in the back of my twisted mind about what other people are thinking about me as a mother.
Here is the truth. This is honestly what goes through my mind every time someone else is with my kids.......Whenever someone else is helping me out with the kids, I ALWAYS feel like other people are questioning it or thinking "why can't Jessica do that?" or "that is something the mother should do". As a mom Isometimes feel always feel like I'm the one who should be doing everything, all the time. Why do I feel like a "bad mom" when someone else offers to do these things?
But.... that is not reality and it's not good for the kids. I can't do it all and even if I could, it's not fair of me to want to do it all. There are other people waiting in line to love on my kids and help them (us). Why would I not allow that?
I need to get over myself and think of my kids and the people who want to help me and be involved in their lives. I need to realize that it really has nothing to do with me at all. It's all about them, the kids, and having as many people involved in their lives as possible. Because, the more people that love them, the better.
It's something I've always had a problem accepting.
Actually..... that's a lie.
I guess I have either always welcomed help or never really thought much about it.
Until I had children. Then it was all I thought about.
I need help.
Who can help me?
No one is helping me!
Do I ask people to help me too much?
Do I turn down help too often?
Do I have more help than the average individual?
Do I need less help?
Do I need more help?
This is a topic that has bothered me since DAY ONE of Leo Beck Rolfes' life. As soon as he was born.......BOOM...... the issue of "help" became a huge issue.
From the first diaper change, when the nurse asked me if I "needed help", I honestly didn't know what to say. If I DID need help, was I already a bad mom and less of a woman? If I DID'NT need help was I a know-it-all bitchy helicopter mom?
I drive myself crazy thinking about this so-called "help".
I beat myself up when I ask for help. It makes me feel weak, lazy, spoiled, and too consumed with my own self to worry about anyone or anything else. It makes me feel like a "bad mom" (whatever that is... more on that to come) and immature. It makes me feel like I can't do anything on my own and makes me feel like less of an adult.
I also also feel rude when I turn down help. When someone offers help to me and I say "no thanks" I feel.......bad.
But it also makes me feel very defensive. When people say "let me help you" or "can I help?" it makes me feel like they think I really need it. Do I look like I'm struggling? Do I look like I can't handle this? Do I look like I "need help"?
But then when no help is offered (or so I think.... in reality it's always available to us. We are lucky) I feel too busy, overwhelmed, rushed, and stressed out. I feel alone and unappreciated and sorry for myself.
Geez, I just realized how selfish that is.
So what's a mom to do? Take help? Not take help?
What's an outsider to do? Offer help? Not offer help?
In the whole "scheme of life" (this seems to be my new way of putting things into perspective lately) I really believe that there is NEVER too much help.
When it comes to my children, isn't the fact that people want to be involved in their lives a good thing? Isn't it cool when people ask to pick them up from school? Or take them to the park? Or give them a bath? Or read them a book? Or buy them new clothes? Or take them to McDonalds?
Yes it is cool. It's very cool that the kids have so many people that love them enough to want to do these things for them. And that love me enough to want to do these things for me.
I need to stop thinking in the back of my twisted mind about what other people are thinking about me as a mother.
Here is the truth. This is honestly what goes through my mind every time someone else is with my kids.......Whenever someone else is helping me out with the kids, I ALWAYS feel like other people are questioning it or thinking "why can't Jessica do that?" or "that is something the mother should do". As a mom I
But.... that is not reality and it's not good for the kids. I can't do it all and even if I could, it's not fair of me to want to do it all. There are other people waiting in line to love on my kids and help them (us). Why would I not allow that?
I need to get over myself and think of my kids and the people who want to help me and be involved in their lives. I need to realize that it really has nothing to do with me at all. It's all about them, the kids, and having as many people involved in their lives as possible. Because, the more people that love them, the better.
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Hi. My name is Jessica, and I'm addicted.
Addiction.
Its a weird thing.
I've come to realize lately that I have a very addictive personality. Sometimes I think that I inherited that from my parents (mainly my Dad), but then I think that it's me and my own needs and wants.
I'm addicted to things that are not necessarily "bad" for me.... like drugs, alcohol, or porn. I don't think I could handle those addictions. That takes a strong person...... or a weak one.... however you look at it.
Anyway...there are things in my life that I feel like I "need" on a daily basis and if I don't get these things, I am not OK with that.
1. Coffee. Not a lot. Just a cup or two if I've got time. Whether I've got time in the morning to actually drink a cup while its still hot, or not, I HAVE to have a to-go cup in the car. I seriously can't remember that last time I drove to work without my to-go cup of coffee. I guess it helps me to get focused for the day....... or something. All I know is that if I don't get to have it, I feel "off".
2. My phone. I love it and hate it at the exact same time. I hate that my face is sometimes buried in it, but I also love it because there is always so much available at my fingertips. It is never far from me, out of my reach, or left alone for more than 30 min. Kinda like a child. Wow.
3. My calendar. I'm obsessed with it. I look at it numerous times a day. Just to check. And double check. And triple check. What am I checking? Don't really know.... I guess making sure I'm not forgetting anything. I also love to delete events/tasks that I have completed. It kinda thrilling and empowering. Its that little things......
Anyway- I keep my calendar in my phone and sometimes I freak myself out thinking what I would do if my phone were to get stolen, lost, submerged in water, or swallowed. I would not have a clue what to do. I would be lost! The things I have scheduled on my calendar range from appoints to when my favorite band will be in town. I have grocery store trips, jewelry shows, 5k races, reminders of when I need to mail certain stuff out, special events, meetings, deadlines, Its crazy! Its nuts how much I put in my calendar and how it controls my day.
4. Facebook. Cringe. I hate that this is a so-called addiction for me, but it is. Its my newspaper. I read it every morning and night. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, right? I'm not gonna go into details about this because I'm starting to annoy myself and realize how much I focus on stupid things........ but I will just say this.... if an entire day goes by and I haven't had a chance to check my FB, then I feel a little bit of anxiety and panic. I feel like I'm missing something important. What if someone shared something really exciting, life changing, or vital? What if I miss it? Gasp..... (so dumb)
5. GPS. I can't go anywhere within 15 miles without it. Give me a map? Might as well give me a socket wrench or a clarinet. #clueless
6. The Real Housewives. All of them. Ive been an addict of this show for years. It's rotten and pointless and demeaning and negative and petty. Yet I can't break the habit.....
Thinking about that things that I HAVE to have or do on a daily basis to make me feel grounded really puts things in perspective.
Why cant I be addicted to things that are more important or necessary?
Why cant I be addicted to reading my bible everyday or calling my mom everyday or visiting grandparents or taking vitamins or reading a book to my kids every night before they go to bed or saying the blessing before a meal or praying before I go to bed or vacuuming the carpet or washing my car?
Think it's time I start adding some items to my addiction list.
Its a weird thing.
I've come to realize lately that I have a very addictive personality. Sometimes I think that I inherited that from my parents (mainly my Dad), but then I think that it's me and my own needs and wants.
I'm addicted to things that are not necessarily "bad" for me.... like drugs, alcohol, or porn. I don't think I could handle those addictions. That takes a strong person...... or a weak one.... however you look at it.
Anyway...there are things in my life that I feel like I "need" on a daily basis and if I don't get these things, I am not OK with that.
1. Coffee. Not a lot. Just a cup or two if I've got time. Whether I've got time in the morning to actually drink a cup while its still hot, or not, I HAVE to have a to-go cup in the car. I seriously can't remember that last time I drove to work without my to-go cup of coffee. I guess it helps me to get focused for the day....... or something. All I know is that if I don't get to have it, I feel "off".
2. My phone. I love it and hate it at the exact same time. I hate that my face is sometimes buried in it, but I also love it because there is always so much available at my fingertips. It is never far from me, out of my reach, or left alone for more than 30 min. Kinda like a child. Wow.
3. My calendar. I'm obsessed with it. I look at it numerous times a day. Just to check. And double check. And triple check. What am I checking? Don't really know.... I guess making sure I'm not forgetting anything. I also love to delete events/tasks that I have completed. It kinda thrilling and empowering. Its that little things......
Anyway- I keep my calendar in my phone and sometimes I freak myself out thinking what I would do if my phone were to get stolen, lost, submerged in water, or swallowed. I would not have a clue what to do. I would be lost! The things I have scheduled on my calendar range from appoints to when my favorite band will be in town. I have grocery store trips, jewelry shows, 5k races, reminders of when I need to mail certain stuff out, special events, meetings, deadlines, Its crazy! Its nuts how much I put in my calendar and how it controls my day.
4. Facebook. Cringe. I hate that this is a so-called addiction for me, but it is. Its my newspaper. I read it every morning and night. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, right? I'm not gonna go into details about this because I'm starting to annoy myself and realize how much I focus on stupid things........ but I will just say this.... if an entire day goes by and I haven't had a chance to check my FB, then I feel a little bit of anxiety and panic. I feel like I'm missing something important. What if someone shared something really exciting, life changing, or vital? What if I miss it? Gasp..... (so dumb)
5. GPS. I can't go anywhere within 15 miles without it. Give me a map? Might as well give me a socket wrench or a clarinet. #clueless
6. The Real Housewives. All of them. Ive been an addict of this show for years. It's rotten and pointless and demeaning and negative and petty. Yet I can't break the habit.....
Thinking about that things that I HAVE to have or do on a daily basis to make me feel grounded really puts things in perspective.
Why cant I be addicted to things that are more important or necessary?
Why cant I be addicted to reading my bible everyday or calling my mom everyday or visiting grandparents or taking vitamins or reading a book to my kids every night before they go to bed or saying the blessing before a meal or praying before I go to bed or vacuuming the carpet or washing my car?
Think it's time I start adding some items to my addiction list.
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