How Ya Feelin" (Part 4) (By: Jess)

The question I get asked everyday is, "How are you feeling"? So, I decided to do occasional updates on that exact topic.

I am currently 24 weeks along. (6 months)
Size of BabyAn ear of corn
Gender
Little Princess!! I still can't believe it!
Name?
Ceceilia Grace Rolfes.  We were debating between middle names for her, but when we were having our ultrasound, the nurse kept telling us how graceful she was when she moved. So we decided to ditch the other middle names we were considering and go with "Grace".
Movement
She is becoming more active! I am starting to feel her more and more everyday!!
Sleep Report
 I love my body pillow!! My weird dreams are fading off, thank goodness!!! That was annoying!
What I missAlcohol, feeling "pretty", going out on the town with friends, getting dressed up in cute spring clothes, exercising, energy.
Cravings
Vanilla Coke, fruit,
Weird Happenings
My cervix is being difficult. It's short. It's supposed to be around 4 cm, and it's about 1 cm. And it's starting to funnel. (google it) Anyway- I've been going back and forth to the Dr and a specialist for ultrasounds. Everyone keeps telling me to "take it easy", but that's hard to do when I work full time and have a 1 year old to chase after. I'm confused and annoyed at what to do. Anyway- I go back to the specialist on Monday and HOPEFULLY they will have some more answers for me. I just want Cece to be Ok and not come too early. I'm scared of the 7 letter word (bed rest) but if that's what I have to do, then of course I will. It just won't be easy..... but what is??
Advise and/or comments
Good- My friend, Kristina, mentioned a place to me called "The Little Gym". Thank God for her and her wisdom!! This place is AWESOME and I'm totally signing Leo and I up for the summer!!
Bad- 2 things are happening. #1- People are deciding NOT to voice their opinion to me about having another baby  or #2- I'm beginning to block out negative opinions, comments, and advise. Either way- I don't have any bad comments to share and I'm thankful for that!
Best Moment(s)
Hearing the words...."IT'S A GIRL". Cannot express my disbelief, excitement, and total elation!!
Meltdowns
When my husband told me for 652 time that I need to "rest".  My reaction wasn't pretty.
What I am looking forward to
Creating Cece's new bedroom and a baby shower at the end of May!
How many weeks left16 weeks
Getting Prepared
My mom bought Cece's bedding and it arrived a couple weeks ago! I am currently looking at paint colors. I have bought her a couple sleepers and a jumper. It was thrilling.
Current Mental Status
Moods are better, but I have been a little more stressed out. We recently sold our house and put money down on another one....which we close on on May 15th. My cervix crisis has me hot and bothered as well. Again, I'm trying to take it all in stride and give it to God.

Just cool. (by: Jess)

Last night at our small group (Lost and Found) meeting, we all watched this video.

It's just plain cool.

I LOVED it.

I wanted to share it with you. It's about 15 minutes long, but totally worth the time.

Enjoy!!!

CLICK HERE TO WATCH!!!

4:30am guide (By: Jess)

So, It's 4:30am and I am awake. I can't sleep.....right now. I'm positive I will be able to sleep later, but that probably won't be an option. Ugh.

Anyway- for those of you who ever find yourself wondering, "What is on TV at 4:30am?" I will tell you....

1. Rock Hard Abs, Fast and Easy
2. Art in the 21st Century
3. Best Pillow Ever!
4. Size Matters!
5. Melt Away the Belly Fat
6. Juice and Lose
7. Wealth Without Risk (I am DVRing this for later!)
8. Look Younger Instantly
9. Malibu Pilates
10. Ultimate State Quarters Until 2021
11. College Lacrosse
12. Fat Loss for Food Lovers
13. Snoring Cured!
14. Eliminate Shaving and Waxing
15. Brazil Butt Life (this is a repeat..... I've seen this one)
16. Asian Collectibles
17. Contour Abs
18. Mountain Bike World Cup
19. LatiNation

and I'm saving the best for last.... (Which I am currently watching)

20. Summer School (1987 moving staring Mark Harmon. Truly one of my favorite movies!)

With all this GREAT entertainment on at this hour, I can't believe the majority of people are missing out! I feel honored to be witnessing all of this.

Will you help? (By: Jess)

OK.... I'm doing something I've never done before. I;ts kinda weird for me to do this, but I'm gonna go out on a limb.....

I'm asking you for your money. $1. $5. $10. Whatever. I'll take anything.

Let me explain...

My small group at church has been following Ed's story for the past several weeks. This man is amazing and really tugs at my heart strings. I admire him in so many ways.....and he doesn't even know me.

I (along with Toby, Leo, and our small group members) are going to be walking on April 27th in support of people struggling with the disease, ALS. I feel very driven to do this and feel very honored to do this.

Like I said, I've never done anything like this before..... and I think it's about time I did.

Please donate and help me raise $210.

Words cannot explain my gratitude and appreciation to those of you who decide to donate. Whether you give me $1 or $20.... it will touch my heart greatly.

If your donation means this much to ME, imagine how much it will mean to those struggling with this disease.

You can read more about the walk and make your donation HERE.

Do something that you can be proud of. Help a sista out! Love to all who donate! xoxox

When I realized. (By: Jess)

In the heart of the Easter season (and a little inspiration from my girl, E. Read "her story" HERE. ) I thought I would share my story about my relationship with God and how it came to be.

It's not really THAT mind blowing, or life changing, or inspirational, or Emmy award winning. So, please don't expect too much.

It's simple. (like me)

I have a Peter story, not a Paul story. (read "E"'s blog for clarification)

When I moved to the South 7 years ago I had a lot of people bluntly ask me, "Are you saved?"

Being a foreigner in a strange land, I really didn't know what that meant or how to respond to that question.

I guess I am "saved".

I mean, there was never a time in my life where God wasn't a part of it. I don't remember a time when I wasn't "saved". I have always felt "saved".

I grew up in a church. I've always went to church as long as I can remember. Sunday school, bible school, youth group, mission trips..... I was involved in it all. It was something I was raised to be apart of and something that I considered normal.

My relationship with God was.....average. It wasn't stellar and it wasn't non existent.

I knew His story. I talked to Him. I trusted Him. I prayed to Him at meal times and before bed. I memorized "The Lord's Prayer" thanks to the teachings of my sister. I did everything my Mom raised me to do.

Skip ahead about 18 years.

When I went off to college my relationship with God and my faith was no longer controlled by my mother. She wasn't there to "make" me to to church. She wasn't there to make sure I prayed before bed and at meals. She didn't drop me off at youth group and pick me up. It was all up to me now. I was on my own. I could decide to include Christ in my life or I could decide to leave Him behind.

I guess I decided to leave Him behind, cause I kinda sorta took a break for anything"church like" for a while.

My sister on the other hand took the completely different road than I. She grew closer to God and formed a whole new, stronger, more passionate relationship with Him. I didn't quite understand it, but it wasn't MY relationship, so I didn't need to understand it. She walked closer to Him and I ran away.

Don't jump to conclusions..... I didn't take a walk on the wild side (at least not the "girls gone wild" side) and do anything drastic. I was a typical college student and meeting new friends, dating, showing up at parties, and working to pay rent took over my life for awhile. I didn't completely abandon God, I just had "more important things to focus on". (at the time)

Lindsey plays a very important part in my faith story....I wonder if she knows it?

It wasn't until 2004 when I decided it was time to welcome God back into my life.

My life was crummy at this point. (or at least I thought it was) Read more about that HERE.

Things just did not seem to be going right and I was bummin. Lindsey could tell and was trying her hardest to cheer me up. Bless her. She was dating this guy (we will call him "R") and he was really pushing her to get more involved in church. She was willing and she talked to me about it. One day, she invited me to come along with her and "R" to the church they attended.

I went.
I loved it.
I missed it.
I cried.
I went back with them.
I went back without them.

And that was that.

From that point on, I knew that I wanted God to play a more important part in my life. I knew that I wanted church to be a vital part of my week. I knew that if I was going to amount to anything or if I wanted to succeed at anything or if I wanted to be happy about anything or if I wanted to be passionate about anything I HAD to start involving God.

That's it. My story is simple, but true.

When I moved to SC one of the first things I did was try to find a church to attend. I started going to Brookwood and I enjoyed it. It was a HUGE church (3,000+) compared to my hometown church had about 60 members total. I kinda got lost in the crowd there and that was OK with me. I stood out enough at work (being an outsider) and I was OK with blending in somewhere, even if it was just one time a week. Whenever I attended church there I felt at peace. I felt calm. I felt loved. I felt safe. I felt accepted. I felt understood. All because of the presence of God. I needed that.

When Toby moved down here to be with me, we tried out several different churches over the years only to eventually end back up at Brookwood when I started.

I think the older I get, the wiser I get about God's role in my life. He becomes more important to me everyday. My relationship with Him is something I work at everyday.

I lead the FCA group at my school. Right now the kids have an assignment. They are supposed to find a bible verse that is "theirs". A verse that talks to them in a special way and applies only to them. A verse that they can personally relate to and one that they will go to in a time of need. They need to have their verses' ready by May 18th and we are all going to share them at our end of the year party.

What they don't know is that it's my assignment too. I want a verse that's I all mine. One that speaks to me and applies to me and was written just for me. I will be in touch when I find it.......

Until then, Happy Easter!! xoxo

Change is comin' (By: Jess)

I am slowly coming to grips with the idea that the way I do things is going to have to change. Once my little CeCe Grace enters this world, things are going to get shaken up.

Not in a bad way.... just a new, different way. Change is good. I don't have anything against change, but I just need to get used to it.



Usually, between 7:30pm and 8pm is when I start thinking about "the change".


This is the time when I am putting Leo to bed. It's a great time "to be alone with my thoughts". I sit in the rocking chair, snuggle Leo in my arms, listen his sound machine playing softly on "rain", and let my mind wander and wander and wander.

Once I become a mother of 2

I'm gonna have to get used to....

1. Not being able to have dinner waiting on Toby when he gets home from work. This is something I take pride in and something I love to do for my husband. I love planning out my meals, monthly, and knowing exactly what I am going to cook every night. But with two babies to watch (once Cece is here) I don't think I can multi-task like that!

2. Skipping dinner on Wednesdays, Thursdays, and every other Friday. These are the nights that I will be working solo. I'm assuming by the time I get both of them fed, bathed, and ready for bed it will be way past dinnertime. Eating dinner at 8pm does not sound like a good idea. Hey.... perfect time to start my diet, right?? Either I will go without din-din, or my dinner will consist of total crap, and not the hot meal that included of all the major food groups that I am used to.

3. Wearing my work clothes all evening and not changing into my comfy clothes as soon as I get home from school. Prolly just not gonna have a change to change.

4. Not watching my DVRed reality shows after school. This is gonna have to wait til the babes are in bed or on Sunday's when the Hubs is home. Mainly because when I watch these shows, I get very involved in them. I don't notice anything else around me. I am in "the zone". Usually, I catch up on my trash-tv when Leo is playing with his toys or I am feeding him dinner. But, once Cece is here, I will not be able to zone-out like that anymore. Too risky.

5. My living room being a wreck.

6. Leo's bedtime not being as strict as it is now. I have a funny feeling Miss CeCe will not care if it has to be quite so her bro can fall asleep at exactly the same time every night. Sorry, Leo. I will do the best I can.

7. Not being able to pick up Leo whenever I want or whenever he wants. I'm sure that CeCe will need to be held, swaddled, or rocked at some point and Leo will probably want to be held at the same time. Not gonna happen. Can't physically happen. Only one at a time, kids.

8. 2 babies crying at once.

9. Doing everything twice. Feeding one, than the other. Changing one, than the other. Rocking one, than the other. Bathing one, than the other. My golly....am I having twins?!?!

10. Not being able to join my friends for dinner in the evenings whenever the opportunity presents itself. Taking Leo out to eat (by myself) is a challenge, but it's do-able. I don't think I will be able to handle controlling 2 kids, out in public, by myself. At least our bank account will benefit. Wait.....I AM having a girl. Nevermind.

11. Running errands after school. Similar to the above... I'm pretty good at doing this task with Leo tagging along. But with 2 munchkins..... I may not be as good.

12. The sound of 2 DVD players playing in the back seat, instead of 1. At least they can both watch the same DVD.

13. A much fuller diaper bag. Enough "stuff" for two rug rats. You better believe I'm gonna get a stylish one. I saw a big, over sized purse at Kohls that would be perfect. It's big enough, has plenty of pockets for "stuff", and it very sassy! It was $100..... but I never pay full price for anything at Kohls, so I will patiently wait til a sale, coupon, and Kohls cash.....then IT'S MINE!

14. A bigger (double) stroller in my trunk getting knocked around when I take sharp turns too fast.

15. Not having my mornings to "take my time and get ready". At the present time, the wonderful husband (A.K.A. Toby) takes the morning responsibility of waking, changing, dressing, and feeding Leo while I get ready. Once Cece is here, she's all my responsibility in the morning. Which means, my "getting ready time" just got cut short. Rats. Owell....

16. Going to work after being up all night. When Leo was born I didn't have to go back to school for 4 months.... so by the time I went back, he was already sleeping through the night. Once Cece is here, I'm only going to be able to take 3 weeks off before I have to go back to work. I HIGHLY DOUBT she will be sleeping through the night at this point. Bless her. And me. And my students who will have to put up with me.

17. Paying babysitters more money. More babies=more money.

18. Paying more for groceries.

19. Not going to Ohio by myself. I used to love the 8 hour drive to Ohio, all by myself, where I could roll the windows down, blast my music up, and drive in the same lane for hours at a time without anyone bothering me. Not anymore. I am not brave enough to do that, with two lil' bits, by myself.

20. Leo not being "the one and only". He's gonna have to share the spotlight. That will be harder for me than him.

All these changes are things that I am getting myself ready for. I'm training. I'm mentally preparing. When Cece gets here....BRING IT!

I can almost hear the "Rocky" theme song playing in the background.

I am pepping myself up, giving myself pep talks, telling myself "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can".

But in all reality.... I know I can. I don't have a choice.

These are MY babies. MY responsibility. This is MY life and I love it. I wouldn't trade it for anyone else's. God gave me THIS life, and because of that I need to respect it and make him proud.

I don't want you to take this list of changes to be complaints, cause that's not what they are. I'm not complaining about having another baby. Yeah, it was unexpected and not part of "my plan", but o'well. (A testosterone shot from my doctor will do that. Did I just share too much?) God just laughs at "my plan".

Will all these changes be a challenge? Yep. Will I know exactly what to expect and have a plan for everything and have a routine set up from day 1 and do everything right all the time? HECK NO! Not even close.

But, it sure will be a crazy ride and I'm expecting some speed bumps, twists, u-turns, and road blocks that's for sure!

I just want to ready for the challenge and I guess making my list helped a little. I don't want to set myself up for failure or for disappointment. I know it will be hard, I know I will have my hands full (thank you "random people" for telling me this over and over and over and over), and I know that I can do it. I also know that Cece is a miracle from God Himself and adding her to our family is gonna change all our lives forever........and I can't wait!

Midweek Confessions part 9 (By: Jess)

1. I met my mom's new love interest this weekend. He is super nice and I really like him. But, most importantly, my mom seems very happy!
2. Spring Break starts next week and Leo is going to Miss Wendy's on Monday and Wednesday. On Monday I plan to do a bunch of running around and pampering myself. On Wednesday, I plan to stay in my PJ's all day. I'm so excited.
3. My belly has exploded! Cece has really popped out this week! I feel (and look) 7 months pregnant... not 5!
4. Leo is getting really good at "testing" his mom and dad!
5. I admire how hard my husband works, but I wish his work ethic stopped at 6pm.
6. I wore a sundress to school today....because I had NO pants clean. In other words...I need to do laundry.
7. I just realized that I prolly won't see Lindsey's new baby boy (who will arrive in July) until Christmas. Majorly depressing.
8. I cannot wait to go home tonight and watch the season final of "Dance Mom's"
9. I think I may get an iphone. Not because I really want one..... but because I feel like I have to keep up with society and technology.
10. I am going to register Leo for preschool in JANUARY. Wow. Time flies.

*Bonus*
11. I'm worried about taking care of Leo and Cece all by myself 3 days a week. Very worried. Call me a worry-wart, call me a wimp, call me selfish, call me in-capable, call me un-confident...... but this thought sends me into panic mode.