Dear..... (By: Jess)

Dear Leo,
Please stop grinding your teeth. Daddy and I cannot take the sound! Thanks, pal!
Love, Mom

Dear Baby in my belly,
Please be a girl! (If you are not, things will be fine and I will love you just as you are! No worries!)
Love, Mom

Dear Current 8th grade students,
Please start caring. About your grades, about your future, about your actions and their consequences, about how you treat others, about how you make your parents look, and really about anything other than yourselves and the current moment. Thanks.
Sincerely, Your frustrated teacher who is about to give up on you.

Dear Jersey Shore Cast,
I'm about over you.
Sincerely, A fan who's love for you is getting old....just like you.

Dear Haggen-Dazs Pineapple and Coconut Ice Cream,
Thank you for existing.
Love, Your Stalker

Dear Pintrest,
You are bittersweet. I love you and hate you. I love you for all the cool, creative, and clever ideas you give me. But, I hate you for making me realize that I'm too cheap, lazy, and unmotivated to do anything with all my pins.
With Love (and a little hate), Jessica

Dear Whit,
I'm sorry you died. I knew the crack would catch up with you. Why did you do this to yourself, girl? Dammmmmmn. You (were) so totally talented. I'm still "Waiting to Exhale". I don't think anyone will ever replace you. You (were) amazing in every way. Thanks for creating some of my most favorite songs. I will still listen to them (and enjoy them) even though you are now gone. Rest in Peace, Sister. Say HI to MJ for me. Man, ya'll just killin the music industry. No one left with any talent..... except Nicki Minaj. (totally kidding. what a joke.)
Love, A Fan

Dear Self,
Please relax and take a deep breath. You can't do it all. You will never be your version of "perfect", so why are you trying so hard? YOU are your worst enemy and hardest critic. In the words of your awesome husband, "take a chill pill". Things happen the way God wants them to, not the way you want them to. Accept this. Please just give it all to God to handle, you won't regret it.
Love, Yourself.
P.S. Remember: money doesn't grow on trees, the scale is an evil monster and needs to be destroyed (at least until September), and you are a lucky, lucky gal.